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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Can’t. I’m busy taking this Buzzfeed quiz to find out what kind of potato I am.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

If you don’t laugh at my jokes then I will.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Having a sunburn is so humiliating. Now everyone knows I was unprepared for the realities of the wilderness. It marks me as the weakest link. The hungry animals are closing in.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Folks, please have more respect for people with glasses. Because they pay money to see you.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

My rock bottom keeps refreshing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,268

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The retirement age needs to be lowered to 40, I’ve had enough.

Shared recently on Threads:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Shared recently on Slack:

I hate when people are like “you are so nice”. I’m ugly, I have no other choice.

Going viral on TikTok:

Adulthood these days is just bills and running out of memory on devices.

Making waves on Instagram:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Going viral on YouTube:

It’s scary when an attractive person is attracted to you, omg.

Just shared via Messenger:

If it weren’t for the last minute, I’d never do anything.

Making waves on YouTube:

It’s a little ironic when you consider that the Internet was invented to save time.

Making waves on Instagram:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Funny essential quotes

Funny essential quotes are the perfect recipe for a good laugh 😂 and a little life wisdom sprinkled in! Whether you need a quick mood boost 💥 or a witty comeback 🎯, these gems brighten your day and keep things light. Get ready to chuckle, smile, and maybe even share some with your besties 🤪—because life’s too short not to laugh out loud! 🎉✨

New funny essential quotes 👇

All funny essential quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on X this month:

I can’t believe the gall of this bladder.

73 shares on Pinterest this month:

“What’s a random act of kindness you’ve done for a stranger recently?” I helped a bunch of teens buy alcohol and cigarettes the other day.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

People shouldn’t be at the grocery store the same time as me. Get out of the way.

99 shares on X this month:

Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer to the end you get, the faster it goes.

16 shares on YouTube this month:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

If I ever go missing, please print my picture on wine bottles and not on milk boxes. My friends are more likely to find me then.

10 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Damn girl, are you a plate of microwaved leftovers? Because you’re hot on the outside and cold on the inside.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Sorry I’m late, traffic is exactly how it’s been every day for the past couple years, and I was not expecting that.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

That thing they say about getting drunk with the love of your life in a walkable city is no joke. It hits like crack.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I got called “pretty” today! Well, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying,” but I only focus on the positive things.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,611

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I met a microbiologist today. He was a lot bigger than I expected.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Waking up early is always beneficial. You just gotta make it past those first 10 minutes of being irritated.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has downloaded:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Showers are the best places to lose arguments with yourself.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Seen just now on Telegram:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Breaking via Messenger:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Just landed via YouTube:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Live now on YouTube:

And to my grandchildren, I leave my unread PDFs.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m a bit of a traditionalist, so on my birthday, I smear my body with embryonic fluid.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Heavy on the ‘mhm,’ cause people just be talking.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Going viral on X:

There’s no way the Scooby Doo gang never found a dead body.

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