Commentary:
When your bed gives you a day pass and you're suddenly the king/queen of the world! 🛌👑🎉
361 Funny ever quotes
My body can’t handle the stress of loving anyone romantically, ever.
Commentary:
Sounds like your heart's on a permanent staycation! 🏖️💖🤯
Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.
Commentary:
Looks like there are 48 hours in your 24-hour day! ⏰😂📆
Sure, sex is great, but have you ever closed a dozen tabs after finishing an academic paper?
Commentary:
Sex is fun, but nothing beats the thrill of slamming your laptop shut after conquering tab city 🎉📚💻
Writing cover letters feels soooo “Ever since I was a little boy, I knew I wanted to be an administrative assistant when I grew up.”
Commentary:
Haha, because who doesn't dream of being a spreadsheet superhero as a kid? 😂📈🦸♂️
Baby, no job is ever that serious for you to be a work snitch.
Commentary:
Sounds like someone needs a corporate witness protection program 😂🕵️♂️ #NoSnitchingInTheOffice
Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.
Commentary:
Finally figured out adulting: staying blissfully unaware and always having pizza ready! 🍕🤯
There is no physical evidence to say that today is Tuesday, we all just have to trust that someone kept count since the first one ever.
Commentary:
Looks like we've all just agreed to play along with the world's longest game of "Guess the Day" 🤔📆😂
ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.
Commentary:
"When your blender joins the witness protection program after those intense 2 weeks 😂🥤🔍"
Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.
Commentary:
Brains, beauty, and sweetness—I'm basically the human equivalent of the ultimate dessert! 🍒🧁🤓