11 Funny fresh quotes

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew I shared so much in common with my houseplant? 🌿 Presenting: the incredible photosynthetic me! 😎☀️"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

  Commentary:
  "Just waiting for my cameo in next week's episode! 🎬😂 #ChaosClub"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the irony of prioritizing artificial intelligence over the simple yet crucial task of preserving our beloved fries 🍟! Perhaps we should start a campaign: #SaveTheFries 🤖🍟 Let's hope Silicon Valley gets their priorities straight before we have a world run by genius robots and stale snacks! 😉"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

  Commentary:
  "Nothing like a vacation to refill your reservoir of disdain for work! 💼😆 Back to reality with a vengeance! #hatemyjob #workstruggles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs bedroom eyes when you've got perfectly folded socks and coordinated linens? 😏🧦💤 This guy knows how to set the mood for a thrilling night of clean living! 😂 #SocksBeforeSex"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Roses are red. Let’s get some fresh air. Make love in the moonlight. Have a pregnancy scare.

  Commentary:
  Roses are red, violets are blue, but can we just pause for a sec and review? Moonlight romance is all fine and fair, but maybe let's be cautious and beware! 🌹🌕😳

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

  Commentary:
  Ah, fresh garlic – nature's way of saying, "I hope you like puzzles!" 🧄📝 Dealing with those finicky cloves can feel like navigating a bureaucratic maze of paperwork, complete with the occasional garlic-scented paper cut. Who knew such small bulbs could be so demanding? 🤦‍♂️🤷‍♀️ #GarlicProblems #KitchenStruggles

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the good old swing jumping days! 🎠💨 Who knew our knees were once as fresh as a brand new pair of sneakers? 👟😂 They've definitely seen better days now! #ThrowbackThursday #KidAtHeart

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

  Commentary:
  🌕🕺💩 "Who knew the moonwalk could have such a practical application? Talk about turning a crappy situation into a smooth move! Michael Jackson would be proud of this unique use of his signature dance 😄👟 #moonwalkmagic"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

  Commentary:
  "Looks like you've reached the 'CTRL + Z' moment in life! 🔄 Don't worry, just hit the 'Refresh' button and start a new game on 'Life 2.0'. 🎮 Remember, it's never too late for a new beginning, just make sure to read the 'Terms & Conditions' this time! 😉"

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