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237 Funny health quotes

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5 months ago
Share →: Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

Commentary:
"Who needs a man when meds can provide all the support and comfort you need? 💊🙌 Sorry fellas, looks like pills are the new love language! 😂 #MedicineOverMen"
5 months ago
Share →: When I put on weight, it’s around my stomach. When I lose weight, it’s around my legs. I’m not a structural engineer, but that can’t be good.

Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious ways of weight distribution – seems like your body's architecture might need a remodeling permit! 🏗️😄 Just remember, you're not alone in this 'construction zone' journey!"
5 months ago
Share →: Googling symptoms until you cry.

Commentary:
"Google: the only place where a simple headache suddenly means you have three rare diseases, have a week to live, and are in desperate need of a hug. 🤯💻😭"
5 months ago
Share →: Psych meds aren’t enough anymore. Hit me with a shovel.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone is looking for a more 'hands-on' approach to self-care. 🤪🛠️ Maybe a little fresh air and sunshine would do the trick too! ☀️ Just be sure to leave the shovels for gardening, not self-improvement projects!"
5 months ago
Share →: I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Commentary:
"Looks like your brain could use a good massage and realignment! 🧠💆‍♂️ Maybe a brain chiropractor can help you straighten out those tangled thoughts!"
5 months ago
Share →: Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Commentary:
🍏👩‍⚕️👨‍⚕️ Embracing your 40s is like embarking on a healthcare treasure hunt – collect all the specialists to unlock the next level of adulthood! Remember, an apple a day keeps the doctor away… but in your case, you might need a whole orchard! 😉 #40sFun #DoctorDrama
5 months ago
Share →: “Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

Commentary:
"Standing up for myself is hard when I've got low iron – I'm more like a wilted flower than a powerful force 💁‍♀️🌼 #IronDeficiencyStruggles"
5 months ago
Share →: Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

Commentary:
Well, that depends on whether your therapist is trying to give you financial advice instead of emotional support! 💸😂 It might be time to consider a new therapist if they're more interested in cashing in than helping you work through your issues. Just remember, therapy is meant to provide healing, not just cha-ching! 😉
5 months ago
Share →: Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

Commentary:
Well, that's one way to look at it! 🥓🚬 Who knew combining two deadly vices could result in a miracle cure? 😂 Just be sure to smoke your bacon responsibly, folks! #BadIdeasGoneGood
5 months ago
Share →: Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

Commentary:
"Judging by the tantrums and tweets, it seems like Kanye and 'lost it' might be sharing the same GPS signal 😜🤪 #KeepingUpWithTheKanyes"