Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I heard time is money, so I quit my job. Now I have lots of time!

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I’m not worried about shattering the illusion, I want to smash it to pieces.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

All my passwords are protected by short term memory loss.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Damn, girl, are you Black Friday? Because I’m wondering what your bloody deal is.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I forgot to get milk, so Santa has a cup of Pepsi Max.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I failed as a person; I’m a dinosaur now.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

That boring, introverted life you’re living has probably protected you from a lot of harm and bad experiences.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,727

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Just landed via Reddit:

Everyone is celebrating my vegan Bolognese sauce. The secret ingredient is minced meat.

Live now on Discord:

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

Seen just now on WeChat:

The trick of life is to get the sports car before you have to grunt getting in and out of it.

Shared recently on TikTok:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Going bananas on Slack:

A pessimist is just an optimist playing hard to get.

Just landed via Twitch:

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Trending via Reddit:

I walk around like everything’s fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off.

403 Funny health quotes

More funny health quotes 👇

You get to a certain age and realize stretching is non-negotiable.

2 weeks ago

age, certain, fitness, health, humor, life, life realization, realization, realize, self-care, stretching
Venting to ChatGPT is crazy, y’all turning schizophrenic.

2 weeks ago

ChatGPT, conversation, crazy, health, humor, mental, mental health, online, online conversation, schizophrenia, schizophrenic, technology, turning, venting
Not to sound like a potted plant, but sunlight and fresh air really make a difference.

2 weeks ago

air, difference, fresh, fresh air, health, humor, humor quote, nature, outdoors, plant, plants, self-care, sound, sunlight, well-being
Twitter is great because you can get good life advice from other emotionally unstable adults.

2 weeks ago

adults, advice, emotionally, emotionally unstable, good, great, health, humor, life, life advice, media, mental, mental health, satire, social, social media, Twitter, unstable
I smoke weed for my mental health and your personal safety.

2 weeks ago

health, humor, i, mental, mental health, personal, personal safety, recreational, relief, safety, smoke, stress, stress relief, weed
No time like now to start “flossing regularly” before tomorrow’s dental appointment.

2 weeks ago

appointment, before, dental, flossing, health, humor, motivation, routine, self-care, start, time, timing
Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

2 weeks ago

emotion, health, humor, humor quote, mental, mental health, resilience, sarcastic, stress, together
It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

2 weeks ago

3am, balance, comedy, deprivation, healing, health, hours, humor, insomnia, late, late hours, late night, life, life balance, night, ruin, self-care, sleep, sleep deprivation, stay, unfortunately
It takes guts to be an organ donor.

2 weeks ago

bravery, charity, donation, donor, guts, health, humor, organ, organ donor
Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

2 weeks ago

activity, car, free, fun, fun activity, health, loud, mental, mental health, nice, relief, singing, stress, stress relief, therapy

For even more funny health quotes, hit next 👇

All funny health quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on TikTok this month:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

10 shares on YouTube this month:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

66 shares on X this month:

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

92 shares on Threads this month:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

75 shares on Reddit this month:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

44 shares on LinkedIn this month:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

78 shares on X this month:

I’m not an early bird or a night owl, I’m some sort of permanently exhausted pigeon.

67 shares on Telegram this month:

Called off work. Feeling fat and wearing jeans.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Adult friendships are difficult. The people I get on best with never want to leave the house either.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

About to form my very first opinion.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

The second date is you watching me parallel park and trying not to have a stroke.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

If I were Juliet, I would NOT be pleased to find a man standing under my balcony at midnight. Sir, I am in my jim-jams.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Don’t think of it as losing followers, think of it as frustrating bots to the point they go away.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Babe, are you ok? You’ve barely talked about the horrors of being alive.

Just landed via WeChat:

I just want someone who can see through all my bullshit and hate me for who I really am.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Spotted on Discord:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I may look fine on the outside, but on the inside I’m hungry again.

Making waves on WeChat:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Breaking via Twitch:

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Going viral on Slack:

Men will ask you zero questions about yourself, and then say they never met anybody like you.

Going viral on WeChat:

Who called it an undertaker and not a host mortem?

Activity Log ✨

403 Funny health quotes

More funny health quotes 👇

All funny health quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨