Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I just locked eyes with a spider. But instead of killing him I ran away and hid, so he can spend the night stressing about where I am.

Commentary:
Oh, a classic case of arachnid anxiety – poor spider must be having an existential crisis now! 🕷️🏃‍♀️ Hope you left him a tiny note saying "You're not safe yet, little buddy!" 😉 #Spidernapped
6 months ago
Share →: If you were the birthday gift I bought my wife some months ago, where would you be hiding?

Commentary:
Hmm, if I were that elusive birthday gift, I'd probably be expertly camouflaged in the back of the closet behind old shoes and forgotten board games, plotting my grand entrance like a surprise ninja 🎁🕵️‍♂️ Or perhaps I've cunningly disguised myself as a household item, blending in with the decor until the perfect moment to reveal myself in all my gift-wrapped glory! 🎉✨ But hey, no need to keep searching,
6 months ago
Share →: My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

Commentary:
Ah, the nineties – where car stereo theft was a competitive sport! 🚗💿 Well, that's one way to outsmart those sticky-fingered thieves! Because why break into your car when there's nothing worth stealing but the glove box itself? 🤣🔊 #NinetiesHacks
6 months ago
Share →: Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

Commentary:
"Talk about keeping your secrets on lock! 🗝️🚪 Nothing says 'exclusive entrance' quite like a key hidden under a doormat. Maybe it's the secret passageway to the land of dad jokes! 😉 #UnlockThePunchlines"
6 months ago
Share →: I would love to go back to the days when the biggest stress was finding the best hiding place when playing hide and seek.

Commentary:
Oh, the good old days when hide and seek was the ultimate challenge! 🙈 Who knew that finding a perfect hiding spot could be so crucial for survival? 😂 Ah, the innocence of childhood, when the only worry was hoping your friends wouldn't find you behind that tree or under the kitchen table! 🌳🏠 #NostalgiaAtItsFinest
6 months ago
Share →: If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Commentary:
Hmm, let's hope I'm not stuck under the bed with those missing socks! 🎁🧦 Maybe I'm chilling in the pantry next to the cookies, or perhaps I've gone incognito as a decorative pillow in the living room. Wherever I am, I'm definitely not making it easy for you to find me! 😉
6 months ago
Share →: Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Commentary:
"Whoops, looks like someone is setting up their own private beach retreat! 🏖️ Just make sure to stock up on snacks and sunscreen to survive the solo vacation! ☀️😂"
6 months ago
Share →: Not all who wander are lost. Some are just moms. In Target. Hiding from their children.

Commentary:
"Ah, the mystical realm of Target—where moms become stealthy ninjas, blending into the aisles like undercover agents dodging tiny accomplices 👩‍👧‍👦. Remember, not all heroes wear capes; some rock yoga pants and sip on Starbucks while evading tiny spies in the toy section! 🦸‍♀️🛒 #MomLife"
6 months ago
Share →: That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Commentary:
🚪🔔 Ah, the universal struggle of pretending you're not home when the doorbell rings! It's a masterpiece of stealth and deception worthy of a spy mission. Who knew tip-toeing to the window could earn you a black belt in ninja tactics? Just remember, when in doubt, freeze and hold your breath – maybe they'll think the house is haunted! 👻😂