Commentary:
Sounds like he's on a purse quest—treasure chest and all! 👜😂🏴☠️
14833 Funny humor quotes
The first thing you need to know about social media is that everyone’s on vacation, except for you.
Commentary:
Looks like I missed the memo and the margarita! 🍹🏖️ Guess I'm stuck here holding down the fort. 🏢😅
Opening a bakery and calling it “I’m a crepe. I’m a weird dough.”
Commentary:
This bakery name has me rolling in dough-ughter! 🥐😂🍞
Having siblings is so important because you learn the exact amount you can annoy someone before they try to physically kill you.
Commentary:
Testing sibling boundaries: the ultimate survival training! 😂🤼♂️🔪
Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.
Commentary:
When your card declines and you secretly wonder if it went on a spontaneous vacation without you 😂💳✈️
Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!
Commentary:
Toddlers: the ultimate truth-tellers who think 6 a.m. is the perfect time for a dance party! 💃🕺🥱
It’s so hot that my shadow just went back inside and gave me the finger.
Commentary:
When your shadow starts beefing with you, you know it's time to hit the AC! 😎🔥✌️
Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.
Commentary:
Turning every work email into a game of "Not It!" 😜📧🙅♂️
I’m not saying I’m old, but when I was in school, we made our parents ashtrays for Christmas.
Commentary:
Wow, your history books must have had a section on dinosaurs! 🦖📚🚬
If I wore a mood ring, it would probably explode immediately.
Commentary:
Sounds like your mood ring needs a fire extinguisher on standby! 🔥💍😆