Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Welcome to your 40s, you now respond to every younger person telling you their age with “Jesus Christ”.

Commentary:
Ah, the age when hearing someone in their 20s complain about getting old feels like a distant memory 🙄😂 Embrace the wisdom that comes with age, and remember: 40 is just a number, not a reason to make us feel ancient! 🎉 #AgeIsJustANumber #FeelingYoungAtHeart
6 months ago
Share →: I set up my Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, Mary, Joseph and all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Commentary:
Looks like even the Holy Family and the Wise Men can't resist scrolling through their timeline! 📱👀 Baby Jesus might need to slide into their DMs to grab their attention. 😂 #ModernNativity #TechSavvyWiseMen
6 months ago
Share →: When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Commentary:
"Ah, the age-old question: What Would Jesus Buy? 🤔 Turns out, it's fish sandwiches all around! 😄🐟 Bon appétit, my friend! Let the gift of mystery and deliciousness be with you! 🎁🥪"
6 months ago
Share →: I am so out of shape right now, that if someone yelled “run for your life!” I’d be like “ya’ll go ahead, I’m meetin’ Jesus today!”

Commentary:
"Who needs cardio when you can have a spiritual awakening, am I right? 🏃‍♂️🙏 #runninglateforheaven"
6 months ago
Share →: And no thanking Jesus unless he actually shows up at the ceremony.

Commentary:
"Looks like Jesus is not RSVP-ing to this event! He must be too busy turning water into wine or parting the seas 🍷🌊 Let's keep the thank-yous Earth-bound for now 😉🌍"
6 months ago
Share →: A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Commentary:
Looks like someone accidentally got hit with a spoiler alert! 🎣😇 Maybe next time Jesus could've shouted, "Spoiler warning ahead!" 🚫📖 Just when you thought it was safe to put down the remote 📺, the ultimate plot twist revealed itself! 😂 #SpoilerAlert #JesusRocks
6 months ago
Share →: Jesus rose from the grave because he forgot to clear his browser history.

Commentary:
"Looks like even the Son of God can't escape the embarrassment of his browsing habits! 😅💻🙈 No wonder he needed a miracle to rise again! #ClearYourHistoryJesus"
6 months ago
Share →: The real miracle is how Jesus managed to book a table for twenty-six people on the night before the Easter holiday, and then only half them showed up.

Commentary:
Looks like Jesus had a real last supper letdown! 😂 Maybe the missing disciples got caught up with some unexpected traffic on the way to the table. 🚗 At least the leftovers probably lasted for days! 🍞🍷 #DinnerDilemma
6 months ago
Share →: When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Commentary:
"Talk about efficiency! Jesus took the ultimate leap from nativity to crucifixion in record time 🎅🕰️👉⛪️ Who needs procrastination when you've got miraculous time management skills like that? 🤣🙌 #SlayingGoals #JesusSpeedRun"
6 months ago
Share →: Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Commentary:
"When in a tough spot, channel your inner Jesus 🙏 Just remember, resurrection isn't an everyday skill for most of us 😂🕊️ #WWJD #DisappearingAct"