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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

I am both dumber and smarter than you think. Do not estimate me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

Car insurance should give you back money at the end of the year for having no accidents.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Wow, this is a really nice, sturdy box. I should keep it in the attic for the next 20 years.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Establish dominance at work by telling your coworkers they look tired before they get a chance to say it to you.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

That uncle or aunt who kept their distance from the rest of the family will start making more sense as you get older.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Anti-capitalism is just code for “I don’t know how anything works.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Common sense is so rare these days that it should be considered a superpower.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I have high standards for dating because I’m a high-quality woman, and you wouldn’t want me any other way.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,438

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

Deleting tweets like a writer who burns his manuscripts.

Live now on Discord:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Just shared via Facebook:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Seen just now on Threads:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Breaking via Facebook:

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

Just landed via Messenger:

But babe, that’s my emotional support Lord of the Rings Extended Edition.

Trending via WeChat:

I feel sorry for dogs. They learnt to fetch newspapers, but newspapers are dying. Killed by an internet driven by cats.

Trending via X:

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Breaking via Messenger:

I need someone to wring out my brain like a dishrag.

34 Funny luck quotes

Funny luck quotes bring a chuckle to those unpredictable moments when fate seems to have a wild sense of humor 🍀😂 Whether you’re winning big or just dodging everyday disasters, these witty sayings remind us that luck isn’t always serious business 🎲😜 Get ready to laugh at life’s twists and turns with a playful wink and a sprinkle of good vibes! ✨🍀

New funny luck quotes 👇

For even more funny luck quotes, hit next 👇

All funny luck quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

53 shares on Telegram this month:

I like to swear a lot so that people will keep their kids away from me.

25 shares on WeChat this month:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

47 shares on Slack this month:

If people love cheese so much, why are they mad when someone smells like cheese.

93 shares on X this month:

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

31 shares on WeChat this month:

Can’t believe I spent so many years of my life asking teachers if I was allowed to use the bathroom, and sometimes be told no. What the hell?

27 shares on Threads this month:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

96 shares on Messenger this month:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

14 folks are currently checking 👀

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,630

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

A selfie only a mother could like.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Why can’t my career pursue me instead?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

I love when I can smell my perfume on myself, like damn girl, you smell delicious.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

“You don’t load the dishwasher right,” I said to my wife just before it permanently became my job.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

Alexa, play everyone that played me.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

In banana years, I am bread.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“This was on sale!” is why I’m always broke.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Just landed via WhatsApp:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Live now on Messenger:

Newborns cry because they’re being evicted.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

You ever go to a baseball game and hear a guy yelling, “hot dogs! hot dogs!” over and over again? That’s me, looking for hot dogs.

Just shared via Messenger:

I was having a great time until I remembered that I was ugly.

Trending via WeChat:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

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