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Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

I’m done with dating sites and am now only focusing on food delivery people. They have a job, a car, and most importantly food.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Tonight, the moon is staring at me.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

Not many things sadder than an untickled fancy.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Dogs naturally form packs, and if left undisturbed, will teach themselves how to play poker.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Me: This show is really boring. Boss: Again, this a zoom conference.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

Doctors diagnosed me as your future wife.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,817

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Spotted on Threads:

My kids are asking for another dog that I can feed and walk.

Seen just now on Discord:

Have you ever been in the car with someone who drives like we got extra lives?

Breaking via YouTube:

I’m at my most math when I solve a problem while creating three new ones.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I will never give another woman my heart until I see how she acts when a bee flies at her.

Seen just now on X:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

My favorite conspiracy theory is that everything is going to be OK.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Anybody else not stopped farting this evening? Asking for a friend.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

So far, no one has seriously tried to bribe me, which is a shame because I am extremely corrupt. Maybe I need a position with more power.

Going bananas on X:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Home » Funny Morning Quotes » Page 29

311 Funny morning quotes

More funny morning quotes 👇

Breakfast in bed: cute in theory, gross in practice.

0

4 months ago

bed, breakfast, cute, food, gross, humor, morning, practice, theory
Another day of waking up cute instead of wealthy, so I guess I have to go to work.

0

4 months ago

another, cute, daily, daily life, day, guess, humor, i, life, morning, motivation, waking, waking up, wealthy, work
Had a fight with an erection this morning. Beat it single-handed.

0

4 months ago

beat, erection, fight, humor, joke, morning
I love 12 a.m. to 5 a.m. The world is so quiet.

0

4 months ago

12, 5, am, early, early morning, i, love, midnight, morning, night, peace, quiet, solitude, world
When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

0

4 months ago

age, amazing, bangers, foods, funny observation, generation, i, kid, lame, middle, middle age, morning, music, nostalgia, observation, people, played, supermarket, whole, Whole Foods, youth
“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

0

4 months ago

back, bed, fantasy, going, humor, i, morning, procrastination, sleep, tiredness, waking, waking up, woke
How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

0

4 months ago

bed, coffee, drinking, humor, late, lying, morning, naked, relaxation, still, too
“You’re like if 9 a.m. on a Monday was a person.”

0

4 months ago

9, 9 a.m., a.m., am, dislike, humor, Monday, morning, person, relatable, start, start of week, tired, week, work
In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

1

4 months ago

button, dating, humor, i, love, me, morning, much, relationship, search, self-love, sleep, snooze, snooze button, someone
There’s nothing scarier than sneezing with a full cup of coffee in your hand.

0

4 months ago

beverage, clumsiness, coffee, cup, fear, full, hand, morning, nothing, sneeze, spill

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All funny morning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Discord this month:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

Guys, stop showering. I need the water for ChatGPT.

59 shares on WeChat this month:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

63 shares on Threads this month:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

47 shares on TikTok this month:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

The only thing I love more than an open mind is an open bar.

22 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Being in a rich person’s house is so stressful. Like, why am I struggling to find the trash?

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

38 shares on WeChat this month:

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Perks of being a girl: You can think about whatever you want in public without worrying about boners.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

If you listen to my husband snore, you don’t need Jurassic Park anymore.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Life hack: you don’t need salt if you just cry into your dinner.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

When things get hot, they expand, so I’m just getting warmer, not gaining weight.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

That moment when you finish watching a TV series and you don’t know what to do with your life any more.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Airlines be like: “Oh, wow. Oh, God. We didn’t think everyone would bring a bag!”

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Me pulling into a full parking lot: Don’t these people have homes?

Trending via Twitch:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Shared recently on TikTok:

It’s wild that “Jason” is a name from ancient Greece, because it sounds like it was invented in Florida in 1983.

Spotted on Instagram:

Nobody at this train station knows that there’s a hole in my sock.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’m sorry, being on social media gave you the impression I’m a social person.

Activity Log ✨

311 Funny morning quotes

More funny morning quotes 👇

All funny morning quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨