269 Funny night quotes

• I slept for 11 hours last night, just wanted everyone with kids to know that.

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  1 week ago

  everyone, exhaustion, hours, humor, i, just, kid, kids, know, last, night, parent, rest, sleep, wanted

• Can’t believe my neighbor rang my doorbell at 3 a.m. last night… Luckily, I was still up playing the drums.

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  1 week ago

  3, 3 a.m., a.m., am, believe, doorbell, drums, funny situation, i, last, late, late night, neighbor, night, noise, playing, playing drums, situation, still, unexpected, unexpected visit, visit

• Taking a Hooters waitress on a date to a different Hooters on her night off.

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  2 weeks ago

  date, different, funny date, Hooters, humor, joke, night, night off, restaurant, taking, waitress

• Does anyone play Trivial Pursuit anymore, or did it retire with the encyclopedias?

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  2 weeks ago

  anyone, board, board game, encyclopedia, game, game night, night, nostalgia, old fashioned, play, pursuit, retire, retired, retired game, trivia, trivial, Trivial Pursuit

• I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

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  4 weeks ago

  again, communication, freaky, hate, humor, i, mood, mood shift, morning, night, pure, purity, reply, shift, shut, someone, something, still, sun, texting, vibe

• Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

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  4 weeks ago

  Friday, Friday night, gym, humor, i, me, mean, night, psychopath, wild, wild night, workout

• I feel like this holiday season, it’s important to remind people of the true meaning of Christmas: ghosts terrorizing rich people in the middle of the night until they agree to pay their employees more.

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  4 weeks ago

  agree, Christmas, commentary, employee, employees, feel, ghost, ghosts, holiday, holiday season, humor, i, important, meaning, middle, night, pay, pay raise, people, person, raise, remind, rich, rich person, season, social, social commentary, true

• Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

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  4 weeks ago

  chair, evening, i, illusion, jacket, left, looks, new, night, nightmare, person, scare, sometimes

• The whole “read before you go to bed to get sleepy” thing does not apply to me because I will be up till 5 a.m. if the book is worth it.

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  1 month ago

  5, am, bed, bedtime, before, book, humor, i, insomnia, late, late night, me, night, night owl, owl, procrastination, read, reading, sleep, sleepy, thing, whole, worth

• Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

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  1 month ago

  actually, am, autism, gathering, humor, i, misunderstanding, movie, movie night, night, social, social gathering, thought, watch, watching, watching movie

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