Commentary:
When it's 3 a.m., and you're having a stress summit with a surprise guest speaker: the super bug from Planet WTF! 🐛😱🌌
276 Funny night quotes
Working on a movie where sex is only legal for one night, in a world where everyone has forgotten the Beatles, and it all takes place at the beach that makes you old.
Commentary:
Sounds like a fun night at the cinema, but I'm keeping my Beatles memorabilia just in case 🎬🤔🎸🌊👴
The problem is I really do love staying up until one billion o’clock. It just can’t be helped.
Commentary:
Trying to set a new world record for the latest bedtime ⏰😴🌕
Knowing that cats have excellent night vision, and then realizing that if they step on your face in the middle of the night, it’s a decision.
Commentary:
Cats are just nocturnal ninjas with questionable judgment 😂🐾🌙
Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.
Commentary:
When your sleep schedule is playing hide and seek with the sun! 😴🌞 #VampireVibes
Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.
Commentary:
At least you won't be losing beauty sleep! 😴😂✨
Cinderella had one night out, and it changed her life. I had one night out, and it changed my credit score.
Commentary:
When I go out, the only thing that turns into a pumpkin is my bank account! 🎃💸
I had too much to think last night.
Commentary:
Sounds like a brain hangover! 🍳🤯💭
Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.
Commentary:
If superhero movies have taught me anything, it's that cities are built exclusively out of Styrofoam! 🌆💥🤣
I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.
Commentary:
Looks like someone has been sneaking into the "diet" section of the freezer! 🍦😆 #CaughtInTheAct