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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

“Likes your story” is a declaration of love.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

When pregnant women are around, watch what you say. Nowadays, anything will be used as a name.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I skip questions on exams like I’m gonna be a different person when I come back to them.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

My Mom say that everyone has a beautiful side, so I guess I’m a circle.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Turns out “V for Vendetta” is not an educational movie and it won’t teach your kids the alphabet.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

Texting my boss to let him know how excited I am for work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Tech bros are frequently wrong but never in doubt.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,589

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Technically, all restaurants are drive-thru, it just depends how committed to the task you are.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I wish I could Shazam a perfume.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m never really sure what to do with my hands when I go jogging, so I don’t go jogging.

Trending via Telegram:

Job applications are so stupid. “What’s your desired salary?” Ten billion dollars. Next question.

Breaking via TikTok:

Parenting is cheering on your kid’s winning softball team all weekend and then cheering on the Sunday rain for cancelling the rest of the games.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

Shared recently on Twitch:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Shared recently on Discord:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Live now on TikTok:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Going bananas on Twitch:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Funny practicality quotes

Funny practicality quotes bring a hilarious twist to everyday wisdom 😄✨ They remind us that being sensible doesn’t have to be boring—sometimes it’s downright hilarious! Whether you need a chuckle while tackling life’s little challenges or a witty boost to your practical side, these gems will tickle your brain and brighten your day 🤹‍♂️💡 Get ready to laugh smart and live smarter! 😂🧠

New funny practicality quotes 👇

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

0

2 months ago

comfort, expense, fortune, heating, humor, indoor, inside, irony, just, know, outdoor, outdoor heating, people, practicality, spend, temperature
Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

0

2 months ago

amazing, clothing, comfort, decision, humor, life, life decision, night, onesy, pee, practicality, question, sleepwear, struggle
They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

0

2 months ago

care, dental, dental care, dental floss, floss, foot, humor, invention, know, last, last foot, practicality, red, run, run out, should
Hear me out, a Q-Tip that doesn’t bounce out the trash can when you throw it away.

0

2 months ago

away, bounce, funny idea, hear, humor, idea, invention, me, practicality, Q-Tip, throw, trash, trash can
Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

0

2 months ago

actually, can opener, cool, ever, everyday, everyday life, humor, kitchen, kitchen tool, life, opener, practicality, relationship, sex, tool, works
Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

0

2 months ago

accessory, funny idea, getting, humor, i, idea, keys, lose, nose, nose ring, personal, personal style, practicality, quirky, quirky solution, ring, solution, style
To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

0

2 months ago

bottle, car, cupholder, humor, marriage, new, passenger, practicality, relationship, seat, size, water, water bottle, wife
Long sandwiches should have suitcase handles.

0

2 months ago

convenience, design, food, handles, humor, practicality, sandwich, suitcase

All funny practicality quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

34 shares on Facebook this month:

When I tell you “I’m open to feedback” I’m telling you to be nice to me or I’ll resort to violence.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

93 shares on Twitch this month:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Best thing about TikTok is you literally don’t need to follow anyone to have a good time.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I love diss tracks because it’s basically two dudes going, “grr, we hate each other so much we’re going to take turns writing increasingly personalized poetry!”

48 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

76 shares on Slack this month:

Boyfriend hasn’t accepted my LinkedIn request yet. He doesn’t want to connect. He doesn’t want to build.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Texting random numbers “It’s done.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

That’s me in the corner eating Nutella with a spoon.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

People pleasers aren’t kind. They’re afraid.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re an athlete,” I whisper to myself, as I begin my third attempt to get out of the couch.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I want to use a big word that I just know the meaning of, I Google it first, just in case.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,423

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Note to self: just because it’s in the map app’s directions, doesn’t mean the road is paved.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

“I’m not dramatic. I just react with the intensity of a Shakespearean widow at all times.”

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Disney set unrealistic standards of how often woodland creatures would help me clean and do laundry if I just sang out my window.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I woke up from a deep sleep in a panic thinking I was late for work. Thankfully, I was already there.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

It feels like it costs $100 a day just to exist anymore.

Going viral on Facebook:

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life, or they are living it to the fullest.

Spreading quickly via X:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Shared recently on Slack:

Don’t ask me ‘how are you?’ unless you’re willing to sign an NDA.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Spotted on YouTube:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Going viral on Twitch:

Smart people are like huskies. If you don’t give them an interesting problem, they become an interesting problem.

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