Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇪 has shared:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the job of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

The ‘b’ in ‘subtle’ totally is.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has viewed:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Look, a three-day weekend is all I ask. The rest can be four-day weekends.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

You should be able to donate somebody else’s body to science.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Jan 31, 2026

3,716

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

No one is excited to see me in shorts except mosquitoes.

Live now on Discord:

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Moms be like, “I needed this,” and it’s really just a break from being the one who holds it all together every single day.

Just landed via Reddit:

The porn bots liking my posts from years ago is just reminding me that I’ve always been hilarious.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

Going viral on TikTok:

When I moved into my new igloo, my friends threw me a surprise housewarming party. Now I’m homeless.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Going viral on Discord:

I would like to see the USA go metric before I die, just so I can enjoy the outrage that would follow.

Going viral on Instagram:

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Making waves on Reddit:

Monsters can’t hide under my bed. That’s where my cats have their fight club.

Funny presents quotes

Funny presents quotes bring laughter and joy to gift-giving moments 🎁😂 Whether you’re wrapping up a quirky surprise or just want to add some humor to your card, these witty lines make every present unforgettable 🎉😜 Get ready to spread smiles and giggles with the perfect playful words that turn any gift into a memorable laugh fest! 🎈🎊

New funny presents quotes 👇

Funny that the Three Wise Men brought probably the three worst presents for a newborn baby.

2 days ago

baby, gifts, humor, irony, men, newborn, presents, three, Three Wise Men, wise, worst
You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

2 days ago

beautiful, beauty, gift, gift wrapping, good, humor, presents, talent, wrapping
When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

1 week ago

buying, enjoy, fish, gift, gift giving, giving, humor, i, Jesus, presents, sandwich, think
Commenting “AI slop” under pictures of my friends’ kids opening presents.

4 weeks ago

AI, commenting, friend, friends, gift, gift opening, humor, kid, kids, media, opening, pictures, present, presents, social, social media, under
A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

1 month ago

birth, birth year, Christmas, Christmas present, consider, floor, gentle, gift, gift wrap, holiday, humor, present, presents, reminder, should, table, wrap, wrapping, year
Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

1 month ago

everyone, excited, excitement, gift, giving, holiday, humor, opinion, present, presents, sarcasm, year
Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

2 months ago

buying, Christmas, holiday, honesty, i, least, liar, present, presents, relationship, single
“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

2 months ago

buying, Christmas, holiday, humor, i, myself, present, presents, procrastination, self-gift, shopping, stage, start, where
The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

2 months ago

best, failing, forgetfulness, gift, having, humor, memory, open, present, presents, self-gift, surprise, time, wrap, yourself

All funny presents quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

The sexual tension between me and vanishing without context is insane.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

The difference between the Olympic village and a normal village is that not everyone in the Olympic village is related to each other.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

66 shares on Slack this month:

I am “We read the newspaper front to back every single day,” years old.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Can’t sleep because I keep finding exciting opportunities to get pissed off.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

98 shares on Threads this month:

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

11 shares on Discord this month:

(Flirting) What’s every single thing you’ve ever thought?

94 shares on YouTube this month:

The only thing faster than an escalator is an escasooner.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people ask me what I’m doing tomorrow, I don’t even know what I’m doing today.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Confidence is 10% work and 90% delusion.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I always take two stairs at a time, that way if I fall, it’s only half the distance.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If my trainee says “oh God” one more time, he’s going to meet him.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

January 1st always feels like a Sunday, regardless of what day it’s actually on.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,494

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Everyone is getting idioter.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

There are people who know when to reply all and when not to reply all, and none of them work at your company.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I feel like I’m in season 5 of my life, and the writers are just making ridiculous shit happen to keep it interesting.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

If you did the weekend right, your coffee needs coffee today.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I’m upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

Just shared via Twitch:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Live now on Slack:

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

Making waves on Messenger:

When I was a little girl, I always dreamed of growing up to satisfy user needs in a way that meets business goals for transformative outcomes.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

It’s cool how seeing a less flattering photo of an attractive friend does not change my perception of them at all, but seeing one of myself makes me want to jump off a bridge.

Just shared via Slack:

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Live now on TikTok:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but no one in the world is judging you as much as you’re judging yourself. People online: Hold my beer.

Just shared via Twitch:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴