Funny quotes say Page 2

174 Funny say quotes

They say every snowflake is different, as if someone actually checked them.

3 months ago

It’s strange that we say time is a great healer when it kills 100% of people.

3 months ago

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

3 months ago

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

3 months ago

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

3 months ago

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

3 months ago

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

3 months ago

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

3 months ago

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

3 months ago

God: “You can’t just say ‘Goddammit!’ and expect Me to damn it. There’s a procedure. File the paperwork.”

3 months ago

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

3 months ago

If i say “morning!” to you, it does not mean “good morning”, I am merely exclaiming in horror that it is morning.

3 months ago

A haunted house but in every room someone is asking you to say a little something about yourself.

3 months ago

One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

3 months ago

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

3 months ago

Just say ‘lol’ and move on.

3 months ago

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

3 months ago

Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

3 months ago

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

3 months ago

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

3 months ago