108 Funny self-care quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs the gym when you can just work those arm muscles with a perfectly styled bun? 💁‍♀️💪 Maybe we can start a new trend: the bun-to-fitness workout plan!"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic midlife crisis conundrum: gym membership and protein shakes vs. Snickers for breakfast in bed 🍫💪 Talk about tough life choices! Looks like the Snickers won the battle this time. Who needs abs when you've got chocolate, right? 🤷‍♂️ #MidlifeCrisisGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Autumn and winter are coming. The time when I make myself tea and always forget that I’ve made myself tea.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic case of "tea inception" – making tea, getting distracted, and discovering a forgotten cup hours later! 🍵🍂 Don't worry, your tea will just have extra time to steep and become even more flavorful. Just make sure to remember where you left it this time! 😉 #TeaTimeDejavu

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Just paid my bills, so don’t ask me to come out. I’m at home getting my money’s worth.

  Commentary:
  "Sorry, can't join you tonight! My wallet just performed a disappearing act and I'm having a cozy date with my couch and Netflix. Priorities, you know? 🤑🏡 #HomebodyForLife"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

  Commentary:
  Well, they do say, "Doctor knows best!" 🩺💉 Looks like this doctor decided to make sure she's in tip-top shape too. Talk about practicing what you preach! 🩸😄

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve got to start taking better care of myself. Tomorrow I’ll walk to the liquor store.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic 'self-care' routine 😂🍷 Who needs a gym when you've got a liquor store within walking distance, am I right? Time to get those steps in… straight to the wine aisle! 🚶‍♂️🍾 #Priorities"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Deleting my mental health to focus on social media.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, just casually sacrificing sanity for likes and followers 📱💔 Who needs self-care when you have filters and hashtags, am I right? 😅 #Priorities"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: A massage is not enough, I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs a massage when you can be kneaded and rolled like a ball of dough? 🍝😂 Get ready to be transformed into a delicious lasagna with that kind of treatment!"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I’ve cut my fingernails too short and now I can’t open my shower gel. What’s the point of being well-groomed if I can’t smell like mangos?

  Commentary:
  Oh no, the struggle is real! 🤦‍♂️ Who knew that well-groomed hands could lead to such slippery situations? 🚿🥭 Looks like you'll have to rely on your wits to open that mango-scented treasure! 💅#WellGroomedWoes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Today is a wonderful day to leave me alone.

  Commentary:
  "Today's forecast: 99% chance of solitude, with a high chance of zero interruptions 🙅‍♂️☀️ Embrace the serenity, folks!"

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