80 funny silence quotes - Page 2 - Wordgag

My mother always told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.” Needless to say, I’m not much of a conversationalist.

Mar 31, 2026

Have nothing to say, I just wanted to appear in your newsfeed.

Mar 31, 2026

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Mar 31, 2026

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Mar 30, 2026

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Mar 30, 2026

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Mar 30, 2026

Moment of silence for those who received mugs that aren’t microwave- and dishwasher-safe.

Mar 30, 2026

I mostly stopped responding to emails three years ago, and aside from various consequences, it’s been fine.

Mar 30, 2026

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Mar 30, 2026

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Mar 30, 2026

Some things are better left unsaid, which I usually realize after I say them.

Mar 30, 2026

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Mar 30, 2026

Sorry for not keeping in touch. I literally have nothing to say.

Mar 29, 2026

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Mar 29, 2026

Traveling long distance without earphones feels like you’re serving a jail term.

Mar 29, 2026

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Mar 29, 2026

Shoutout to all ladies dating silently without making noise on social media. May God give you another man as a bonus.

Mar 29, 2026

Silence is golden. But duct tape is silver.

Mar 28, 2026

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Mar 28, 2026

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

Mar 28, 2026

Noise-canceling headphones aren’t enough, I need everyone to shut up.

Mar 28, 2026

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Mar 28, 2026

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

Mar 28, 2026

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Mar 28, 2026

Alexa, mute my children.

Mar 27, 2026

I kind of enjoy living in a world where I can end a conversation by simply not texting back.

Mar 27, 2026

My favorite voicemails are those where the person doesn’t leave one.

Mar 27, 2026

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Mar 27, 2026

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Mar 27, 2026

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Mar 26, 2026

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Mar 26, 2026

I read that Miley Cyrus will be starring in a remake of Silence of the Lambs. She’ll be playing Hannibal Montannibal.

Mar 26, 2026

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Mar 26, 2026

You should be able to mute someone in real life. Annoying coworker? Silence them for 24 hours by booping them on the nose!

Mar 25, 2026

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Mar 25, 2026

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Mar 25, 2026

I’m fighting for free speech. Mine, not yours, so be quiet.

Mar 25, 2026

What I’ve learned in all these years of marriage is how to open a bottle of beer silently.

Mar 25, 2026

Even worse than the buzzing of the mosquitoes is the moment when it suddenly stops.

Mar 25, 2026

A moment of silence for the paycheck that was in my account for five minutes.

Mar 25, 2026