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Sounds like you're breaking the ice with a dance battle invitation! 💃🕺😅
1333 Funny social quotes
You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.
Commentary:
Is this why my voicemail has been renamed to 'Missed Drama Collection'? 😂📞💬
Pretty annoying when someone unfollows me before I can conduct their exit interview.
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I was hoping to ask them about their departure, exit satisfaction, and if they'd like more cat memes in the future! 😹📉
Every day, I go to work and draw a little tick on everyone who didn’t say goodbye to me the day before.
Commentary:
That level of commitment deserves a tick of approval… or maybe a sticky note reminder! 😂📋🖊️
My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.
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Can't wait to see all the blurry cat paws and unintentional selfies! 📸🐱✋😆
People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.
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Teamwork may make the dream work, but it also makes my eye twitch! 😂🤝🥊
“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.
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"Keeping my words in quarantine 😂🙊"
I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.
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Family reunion? More like a *reality* check! 😂🧹🚫💼
The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.
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Finally an event I don't have to make excuses for missing! 🎉🙌
It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.
Commentary:
Stepped outside, instantly missed my couch! 😂🏡 #HomeSweetHome