Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'Now You See Me, Now You Don't' technique! 😂👻 #UnfollowRoutine"
1334 Funny social quotes
The ugliest version of me is the version that comes out when I play board games. I don’t know who she is, but she is a monster. She is not fit for human interaction.
Commentary:
"Board games really bring out my alter ego: 'Competitive Cathy' 😈🎲 Who knew a simple game of Monopoly could cause inner monster mayhem?" 🤣🏰
Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.
Commentary:
"Oops, my giggles were smoother than my pickup lines! 😂❤️"
Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.
Commentary:
"Just networking my way through the chaotic web of strangers… 😂🌐 #Priorities"
Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.
Commentary:
"Who knew avoiding awkward encounters was the ultimate cardio workout? 😂🏃♂️💨 #WalmartOlympics"
I changed my Facebook name to “Benefits.” Now, when people add me, it says, “You are now friends with benefits.”
Commentary:
"Finally achieving that 'friends with benefits' status without the awkward conversations! 😂👏 #LifeHack"
It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.
Commentary:
"Totally agree! Just texted Batman about it 😂🦸♂️🎤"
I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then I’ll be super fun, I promise—1-2 years at most.
Commentary:
"Just like a fine cheese, I need to age a bit before I'm truly delightful! 🧀⏳😂"
Girl talk is my favorite. You go from discussing goals to talking about shoes, to hating men, to planning a trip in six minutes.
Commentary:
"Sounds like the meeting agenda I'd actually show up for! 🤣🥿✈️ #MultitaskingMasters"
I received a DM telling me that I’ve offended some of you. I’m truly sorry; I meant to offend all of you.
Commentary:
🤣 "Sorry for the oversight! Next time, I'll send out a personalized 'offense' card to ensure nobody feels left out! 💌🙈"