Funny spread quotes

• If I have to look at any more spreadsheets today, you’re gonna have to spread my ashes.

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  2 months ago

  death, frustration, humor, i, office, sarcasm, spread, spreadsheet, today, work

• I’m just here trying to spread a little joy while the world burns. Is that so wrong?

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  2 months ago

  attitude, dark, dark humor, here, humor, irony, joy, just, little, mood, optimism, positivity, resilience, spread, trying, while, world, wrong

• Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

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  2 months ago

  bad, bad situation, growing, growing up, humor, i, interaction, kids, misinformation, much, nostalgia, outdoors, outside, person, personal, personal interaction, situation, something, spread, today

• Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

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  2 months ago

  buying, disease, else, everyone, fashion, favorite, humor, interest, making, me, multiple, nostalgia, personal, personal interest, priorities, sh, shopping, spread, time, time travel, travel, wars

• I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

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  2 months ago

  blue, creative, creative project, fun, funny idea, garden, Google, Google Maps, home, home improvement, i, idea, improvement, maps, outdoor, outdoor fun, pool, project, spread, tarpaulin, want

• When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

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  3 months ago

  50, age, body, boy, doctor, eye, humor, i, lazy, lazy eye, me, rest, spread, time, young, young boy

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