Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

I went from dancing with myself in the 80s to talking to myself now.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Having little kids is great because I love spending hundreds of dollars each week to feed my floor and my trash can.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I don’t like talking to people with an IQ lower than the room temperature.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Not right now. I’m manifesting.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Nothing you want to do has a timeline.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,770

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

If a door closes, you can just open it again. That is a door. Doors work like this.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

Making waves on Discord:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Spotted on Messenger:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Just shared via Reddit:

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

Going viral on Slack:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Breaking via Facebook:

Women call me ugly until they find out how much money I make. Then they call me ugly and poor.

Going viral on WeChat:

Why, as a hair, would you even wanna be ingrown. Like why are you doing that?

Just shared via Threads:

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

62 Funny tech quotes

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Twitch this month:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

69 shares on YouTube this month:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

10 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m not a morning person. I’m not even an afternoon person. I pretty much start functioning after 6pm.

84 shares on YouTube this month:

I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

71 shares on Reddit this month:

Revenge? No. I just post hot selfies and let the algorithm do God’s work.

30 shares on X this month:

Dear Santa, I’ve been good all year. Most of the time. Once in a while. Never mind, I’ll buy my own stuff.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

68 shares on X this month:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, sorry I cant make it tonight. I am beset on all sides by foes.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Every day we get closer and closer to Idiocracy coming true.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Bitcoin is just Kohl’s Cash for boys.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,760

Funny Quotes Topics

17,769

Funny Quotes Images

15,760

Updated

Mar 1, 2026

Users Online

3,310

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

Me as the therapist: “Listen, just take a nap!”

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Babe, wake up, it’s stupid outside!

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

My Mom asks why everything is on the floor, like she never heard of gravity.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

I’m tired of things costing money.

Breaking via Pinterest:

I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Just shared via Twitch:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Trending via Reddit:

If you feel fat and sad just know it’s someone out there fatter than you.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The feminine urge to open a coffee shop that’s also a library, a bakery, and a flower shop.

Shared recently on Slack:

Are French bulldogs actually French? They seem kinda Puerto Rican.

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