160 Funny things quotes

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  2 months ago

  Share →: Of all the things to lose, why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind?

  Commentary:
  😂🤦‍♂️ "Of all the things to lose, why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind?" Classic case of priorities gone awry! Who needs a missing appetite when you have a wandering mind making unexpected disappearances? 🤪 Just imagine misplacing your appetite and finding it curled up with your socks in the laundry basket! 🧐 #LostAppetiteBrainStillIntact

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  3 months ago

  Share →: It is very hard to set aside the time to do your taxes when you are really busy doing other things like eating a snack or looking around the room.

  Commentary:
  "Who has time for taxes when there's a snack waiting to be devoured and a room begging to be observed? 🍫👀 #PrioritiesInCheck"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the eternal quest for crucial life data! 📊🥜🍞 Just imagine having a dedicated stats screen for essential metrics like toastiness levels of English Muffins or the precise ratio of peanut butter to muffin! 🤔📈 If only there was a dashboard that could quantify our culinary adventures in such delicious detail! 🥪🤓 #SnackStatsGoals

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew that simply breathing through our nose was a luxury we took for granted? 🤧 Appreciating the simple joys in life, one clear nostril at a time! 😂 #BlockedNoseStruggles"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the classic human dilemma: expecting things from others and then being surprised when they can't read our minds 🤷‍♂️ Maybe we should all just communicate through interpretive dance instead 🕺💃"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

  Commentary:
  "Flirting level: crow! 🌟 Who needs jewelry when you can impress with all things shiny and sparkly? Just imagine the magpie envy 😂🦅 #BirdRomance"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: The only things that are really cool in my company are my salary and me.

  Commentary:
  Well, it sounds like you're the true CEO (Coolness Enhancing Officer) at your workplace! 💰😎 Keep shining bright like a diamond… or should I say, like a paycheck! 💎💸 #CoolCatBoss

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic transition from being cool to becoming an expert in complaining about noise levels! 🕺🤐 It's like a rite of passage into adulting where our ability to enjoy a loud party is overshadowed by our desire for peace and quiet. 🎉🔇 Who knew that one day our idea of fun would involve searching for the elusive "mute" button in real life? 🤪🔊 #AdultingIssues

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I’m capable of doing a lot of things but listening to people chew their food is not one of them.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the mighty power within us all – we can conquer mountains, slay dragons, but heaven forbid we sit through a symphony of chewing! 🙉🍽️ #SelectiveSuperpowers"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

  Commentary:
  Isn't it great how writing makes us look up the most random things like "woman names" just to keep our stories authentic? 🤣📝 It's like diving into a bottomless pit of knowledge filled with intriguing facts and, well, names we never knew existed! Who knew the world of writing could lead us down such a rabbit hole of endless discovery and entertainment? 💡 Keep on Googling, fellow writers, the literary jungle awaits! 🌟

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