Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Commentary:
When someone knocks on your door and you suddenly turn into a ninja master 🥷🏼 ready to defend your domain! Remember, it's just a visitor, not the FBI looking for you! 😂🚪 #DingDongDefense
6 months ago
Share →: I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.

Commentary:
"Oh, so you're the 'I'm-not-funny-I'm-just-savage' kind of humorist, huh? 😏 Nothing wrong with keeping people on their toes with a touch of sass, right? Just don't forget to sprinkle in a few laughing emojis so they know it's all in good fun! 😂🔥"
6 months ago
Share →: You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'I'm too old for that' excuse. 🙃 Embrace your inner child – it's not about age, it's about attitude! 🌟 Who says you can't be young at heart forever? 💁‍♂️💖"
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Commentary:
"Who needs a box when you've got unlimited imagination? 🌟 Think so far outside the box that you forget it even exists! 📦🚫 #BreakingBarriers"
6 months ago
Share →: You think you’re cool and then you see a video of yourself running.

Commentary:
😂🏃‍♂️ "You think you're nailing the whole 'cool and collected' vibe until you catch a glimpse of your majestic sprinting skills on video! 🕺 Suddenly, the illusion shatters like a poorly timed high-five. 🤦‍♂️ Who knew you could rival a newborn giraffe when it comes to gracefulness? Keep on running, superstar! 🌟 Just maybe avoid the cameras next time. 📹 #
6 months ago
Share →: I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'plot twist' moment in a romantic comedy… or is it a horror movie?! 👀🎬 Here's to finding 'the one' who doesn't ghost you faster than a magician makes a rabbit disappear! 🎩🐇✨"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry, I don’t think I can hang out this weekend, my 4-year-old is still telling a joke.

Commentary:
"Looks like that 4-year-old has a stand-up comedy career in the making! 🎤 Who needs plans when you have a mini comedian on the loose? 😄 #FutureComedyStar"
6 months ago
Share →: I will be posting telepathically on all social media today. So if you think of something funny, that was me.

Commentary:
🤔💭 "I will be posting telepathically… So if you suddenly feel a surge of humor, congratulations, you've just been mind-memed by moi! Think of it as a mental high-five with a comedic twist ✨🤪 #MindMemeMaven"
6 months ago
Share →: My parents think they know me.

Commentary:
"Well, well, well… Parents, the ultimate experts on all things 'You'. 🧐👪 Don't they know you better than you know yourself? 🤔 Time to add 'mind-reader' to their resumes! 🤣 #ParentalPerceptions #TheyGotThis"
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Commentary:
"Looks like Valentine's Day plans just got celebrity-crushed! 💔 Sorry, boyfriend, but sharing Salma Hayek might be a bit out of the budget. 😜 Maybe next year you can aim for someone a wee bit more attainable! 😉"