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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Can’t believe penguins have to publish all those books with their tiny hands.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

They say the human body is 60% water, but after extensive observation of my husband and son, I’d like to submit a revision to the data. Those two are at least 50% wind.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

IKEA products should be cheaper, I’m doing all the work here. It’s like ordering takeout food and still having to cook it when it arrives.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,962

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,962

3 minutes ago

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Shared recently on Messenger:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Going viral on YouTube:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Men tell you “I know a place” and bring you to the brink of madness.

Just shared via Slack:

Is there a bravery award I can nominate my son for as he managed to eat his toast despite the fact I cut it wrong.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Never feel bad when people roll their eyes while you talk to them. They’re just looking for their brain.

Just landed via Pinterest:

For the record, I use a turntable.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Any place is a walkable city if you’re broke enough.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

But if i put my laundry away, the laundry chair will be out of a job.

Home » Funny Upon Quotes

Funny upon quotes

Funny upon quotes bring a burst of laughter 😂 and a splash of wit 💡 to brighten your day! Whether you need a quick mood boost or a clever twist on everyday life, these gems deliver smiles 😄 and chuckles galore. Ready to tickle your funny bone and share some lighthearted vibes? Let’s dive into the world where humor meets wisdom, one hilarious line at a time! 🎉🤣

New funny upon quotes 👇

18 hours ago
Share →: Drinking coffee because hitting people over the head with a shovel is frowned upon.

Commentary:
I prefer my mornings caffeinated, not incarcerated! ☕️😆🔨
2 weeks ago
Share →: There should be a way to take back a compliment bestowed upon a person who doesn’t acknowledge it well.

Commentary:
Seems like we need an "UNDO" button for compliments on these folks! 😂🔄💬
1 month ago
Share →: If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

Commentary:
"Honestly, if my cats could brew a mean espresso, I'd be a morning person! ☕🐱😴"
5 months ago
Share →: Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Commentary:
☕️ "Sipping on that coffee like a civilized adult because trust me, throwing chairs is so last season! 😝 Who knew caffeine could prevent a potential furniture-throwing incident! Keep calm and drink coffee, folks!" ☕️

For even more funny upon quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny upon quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,962

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,962

3 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

The amount I’m sighing these days could fuel a small wind farm.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 50’s. Your doctor and pharmacist are both in your contacts now.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Coffee doesn’t solve all my problems. But it definitely stops me from constantly creating new ones.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

The ways printers are like kids: Need feeding, are noisy and can’t function when offline.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The inventor of archery: Man, I really wanna stab that guy over there.

Going viral on Facebook:

Just blocked everyone who is not in my gang so if you’re reading this, we’re robbing a bank in 12 minutes.

Live now on Discord:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Broadcasted on X:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

Spotted on Reddit:

Chores give kids a sense of responsibility while teaching relevant life skills such as procrastination.

Spotted on Facebook:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Intermittent fasting is how I drive, not how I eat.

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