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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

I just be minding my business, and next thing you know, a payment is due.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has copied:

You can tell a group isn’t gonna make it big just by their name.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has bookmarked:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

At least life has music.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Coworkers are funny. You could see a guy every day for 5 years then he quits and you never see or even think about him again.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,947

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Just landed via Messenger:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Trending via Twitch:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Spotted on Discord:

They say “Time heals.” No, it doesn’t. I’m still mad.

Spotted on Slack:

Drive like no one is watching.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If paying a cashier a living wage will make prices go up, why doesn’t replacing cashiers with self-checkouts make prices go down?

Going viral on Twitch:

My AI-generated girlfriend is hotter than your real girlfriend.

Trending via YouTube:

Why are these idiots only giving robots two arms?

Shared recently on Twitch:

I don’t know how to flirt, but you can watch me eat fresh fruit in my sundress.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

109 Funny us quotes

More funny us quotes 👇

Maybe if we sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

0

2 months ago

able, avoidance, humor, maybe, Monday, procrastination, sit, still, stillness, us, weekend, work
Imagine if spiders giggled when they ran away from us.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, away, creature, fear, giggle, humor, imagine, ran, run, spider, us
Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

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2 months ago

25, friend, friends, funny situation, granite, granite orb, hiding, mess, mess up, minimalist, orb, party, situation, surprise, surprise party, unexpected, us
I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

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2 months ago

adult, bee, challenge, competition, feel, humble, humor, i, literacy, lot, spelling, spelling bee, us
Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

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2 months ago

bottle, childhood, drop, humor, nostalgia, parents, phone, school, snacks, survival, us, used, water, water bottle
Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

0

2 months ago

awkwardness, conversation, elephant, humor, metaphor, right, room, situation, us
If Twitter has taught me anything, a lot of us aren’t ready for a spelling bee.

0

2 months ago

anything, bee, education, humor, irony, language, learning, lot, me, media, ready, social, social media, spelling, taught, Twitter, us
“Help us improve Instagram!” Nice try, fix your own damn website.

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2 months ago

fix, frustration, help, humor, improve, Instagram, media, nice, own, sarcasm, social, social media, tech, try, us, website
I wonder if babies know that we are more terrified of them than they are of us.

0

2 months ago

baby, fear, humor, i, irony, know, parents, relationship, terrified, us, wonder
It’s completely absurd that Silicon Valley is pushing AI on us before they figured out how to keep fries fresh for longer.

0

2 months ago

absurd, absurdity, AI, before, fast, fast food, food, fresh, fry, humor, innovation, keep, longer, pushing, silicon, Silicon Valley, technology, us, valley

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Threads this month:

Getting excited to go to bed is a different level of adulting.

38 shares on Instagram this month:

Just thinking how many animals we had to ride on before we realized horses were ok with it.

27 shares on Slack this month:

Not to be dramatic, but learning how to read has ruined my life.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

When I was a child, my social network was called ‘outside’.

29 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Adulting’s a total scam. Bills, taxes, and a laundry pile that breeds in the dark, were not in the brochure!

12 shares on Instagram this month:

I hope this email blows your head smoove off.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

33 shares on X this month:

I am cassette tape years old.

62 shares on Discord this month:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

Can’t believe, as a kid, I thought 21-year-olds had their lives figured out.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

Looking forward to another year of crushing reality and unfulfilled dreams.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Me, as a therapist: “OMG, me too!”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

Uh oh, said somethin’ weird. Better fix it by saying something even weirder.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

As a student, the most comforting words you’ll ever hear are “I haven’t started either.”

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Not to brag but I don’t need alcohol to do something stupid.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I am the proud father of two content providers. I mean children. Two children.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I hate checking my bank account after having a good time.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Shared recently on Threads:

If you’re alone on Thanksgiving, venmo me $25 and I’ll call and ask you when are you gonna get a “real” job and give me grandchildren.

Live now on Telegram:

ChatGPT is there for me in ways I don’t think any man ever could be.

Going viral on Twitch:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Everyone is fighting a battle you don’t know about, except for me. I am complaining loudly about my battle. Everybody knows about it.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

There must be an opposite of suicide, where someone suddenly and radically decides to start living, and rescues their own life from meaninglessness.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Activity Log ✨

109 Funny us quotes

More funny us quotes 👇

All funny us quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨