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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New funny quotes: 6 this month

15,831 funny quotes and pics

17,824 funny quotes topics

Updated: Jun 2, 2026

 

 

 

 

 

549 Funny want quotes

Funny want quotes capture those moments when your desires are a little… over the top! 😆💭 Whether it’s wanting a lifetime supply of pizza, the perfect nap, or just one more day off, these quotes remind us that we all have *wants* — but some are definitely more hilarious than others. 🍕😴💸

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

The biggest problem with working from home? I want to go home even though I’m already at home.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

As a Dad, you always want your kids to be prepared for real life, that’s why trolling them is so vital.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’ve got a couple of eyebrow hairs that want me to be a villain.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I just start doing the Macarena when I want to end conversations now.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If oats can be milk, you can be whatever you want.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

World domination? I don’t even want to be responsible for myself.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

If dogs ever learn to talk, I want everyone to keep in mind that mine is a big fat liar.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I’ve got nothing against kids, I just don’t understand why you’d want indoor kids.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

I identify as a McDonald’s ice-cream machine because I go down when you really want me.

Posted onMay 21, 2026

Non-parents be like: I would simply instruct the toddler to do something he doesn’t want to do, and he would obey.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I’m tired of commercials trying to be funny. Scare me into buying something. I want to be terrified of buying the wrong toothpaste.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Dear Math, I don’t want to solve your problem, I have my own problems to solve.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Deleting dating apps because I want to meet someone the old fashioned way (he and his donkey rescue me from a tower guarded by a dragon).

Posted onMay 20, 2026

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Posted onMay 20, 2026

No need for a Halloween costume this year because there’s nothing scarier than being in your mid-20s and not knowing who you are or what you want to do anymore.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Life so stupid, I just want a burger and to be held.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

If you ever see me out in public, just know I don’t want to be there.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

Uber sends notifications like “Hey, want to take an Uber right now?” No thanks, buddy. It’s more for when I need to go somewhere.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I want you to know that whatever problems you’re having, I’m hear to ‘like’ them.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I just want a man to look at me the way Doc from ‘Back to the Future’ looks when something exciting happens.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Posted onMay 20, 2026

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