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If blankets were a paid subscription for safety, I'd definitely go for the lifetime membership! 😌🛌✨
81 Funny while quotes
Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.
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Listening to bangers while tweeting my random thoughts—I'm basically a multitasking legend! 🎧📱😆
Thanksgiving is just me trying to look cute while holding a fork like a medieval warrior.
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Getting ready for the ultimate feast battle: Forks first, questions later! 🍴🤣🦃
My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.
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Therapy and a mani-pedi? That’s what I call mental *and* nail polish! 💅🧠
I do not like how Netflix threatens to start the movie while I’m just tryna read the description. Like, please, you’re making me anxious.
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Why is Netflix acting like an impatient waiter trying to take my plate while I'm still finishing the bread? 🍿😅📚
Tailgating me while I’m going 90 in a 45 is crazy. And those red and blue lights on top of your car look stupid, btw, lol.
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Guess you're just trying out for the Cirque du Traffic! 🎪🚓😂
I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.
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Feeling judged by someone who never even has to count calories 🤨🍕📖
“Why do I feel like shit all the time?” I ask myself, while staring into the flashlight that tells me bad news.
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Feeling like a human battery constantly at 1% 😅🔋📉 #SOSRecharge
Why does everyone force introverts to leave their comfort zone, but no one forces extroverts to shut up for a while?
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Is it too much to ask for some "silent mode" on extroverts? Asking for a friend… 🤫🎤😄
Watching my wife absolutely hate my daughter’s boyfriend while being nice and hospitable to him has made me question every interaction I’ve had with another human being in my life.
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When you've been looking through rose-colored glasses your whole life but suddenly realize they were actually fogged up lenses 😂😅 #LifeLessons #MomSkills 👀🍸