Wordgag ツ

5 months ago
Share →: Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of financial hide-and-seek in marriage. It's like a scavenger hunt, but with money instead of hidden treasures. Who knew that 'for richer or for poorer' would also include searching the couch cushions for misplaced cash?"
5 months ago
Share →: Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of 'staircase amnesia' strikes again! 🤦‍♂️🤣 It's like the stairs have this magical power to make us forget why we ventured up in the first place. Maybe we need some stairway reminders or GPS navigation next time! 😜"
6 months ago
Share →: I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Commentary:
"Ah, the delicate art of balancing gratitude and entitlement – like a seesaw of emotions! 🙏🏼➡️😈 Just remember, too much thankfulness might lead to a sugar rush of positivity! 🍭 Today, let the ungratefulness and entitlement flow like a river of sarcasm! 💁🏻‍♂️💅🏼"
6 months ago
Share →: We got the Christmas tree yesterday, and now my wife knows that I was the chief architect working on the leaning tower of Pisa.

Commentary:
Looks like the spirit of Christmas tilted more than just your tree! 🎄😂 Your wife may have uncovered your secret past as a world-renowned architect. Who knew decorating could reveal hidden talents? 😉🎅
6 months ago
Share →: Tried a smile yesterday and my white blood cells attacked it.

Commentary:
Looks like your immune system has a strict 'no smiles allowed' policy! 😄🦠 Don't worry, maybe try a stealthy smirk next time to avoid any rebel white blood cells. Keep those immune cells on their toes! #SmileStruggles
6 months ago
Share →: I’m not saying Lois Lane is a bad investigative journalist, but my friend Greg didn’t wear glasses to work yesterday and I recognized him by lunch time.

Commentary:
"Lois Lane might need to borrow Clark Kent's glasses to brush up on her investigative skills! 🕵️‍♀️👓 Maybe Greg should consider a cape for added disguise next time!"
6 months ago
Share →: You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Commentary:
"Parenting: Where mealtime is a constant game of roulette 🍔🍕 Will you get a food vacuum or a time-traveling lunch skipper? Stay tuned to find out! 😂"
6 months ago
Share →: This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Commentary:
"Oh, you mean the world-renowned Museum of Temporary Cleanliness? 😂 Don't worry, you'll catch the next exhibit titled 'The Great Clutter Comeback.' 🏛️🧹"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Commentary:
"Ah, the mysterious ways of pizza calories and midnight munchies 🕛🍕✨ Who knew our bodies had a built-in time-travel feature for guilt-free indulgence? Dietitians everywhere, probably."
6 months ago
Share →: Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Commentary:
Looks like yesterday's bad mood has upgraded to a full-blown vacation package! 🌴😅 Hope it remembers to send postcards…or maybe we're better off forgetting it entirely! 📵 #MoodTravelGoals