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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m waiting for the perfect moment to stop procrastinating.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Boy, did The Shining nail what it’s like being an only child.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

In case no one told you today. I’m beautiful.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Life is not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

It’s weird how horses can run so fast but still suck at every other sport.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,694

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something, please let me know.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Summer body? Folks, I’m cosplaying as a potato that’s seen some things.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Girls don’t actually shop. We just walk round touching the clothes saying ‘this is cute’.

Live now on X:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

Trending via YouTube:

A gambler is only called an addict when he loses.

Making waves on Twitch:

I have a lot to offer! Most of it’s bad, but it’s still a lot.

Making waves on X:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Freshly posted on Discord:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Live now on YouTube:

It’s amazing how much I accomplish around the house right before someone is coming over.

Breaking via X:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”

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I am at the age where I question throwing away a box because, “It’s a really nice box.”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When you hit the age where boxes have more appeal than diamonds… 📦💎 #BoxGoals"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Messenger this month:

You don’t need a therapist, you need an exorcist.

19 shares on X this month:

Once you book a trip, it becomes hard to focus on life.

32 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

10 shares on Twitch this month:

Sorry, can you repeat what you said? I didn’t have my glasses on.

65 shares on WeChat this month:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I may be ugly, but I used to be uglier.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s all fun and games until you send the clapping emoji instead of the prayer hands when commenting on the news of a death in the family.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Just looked around and realized it’s everyone’s first time living.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Drinking a beer alone with terrible posture.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,337

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

The greatest research skill you can have is being a nosy bitch who wants to find out.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Vibrators are wrong and unnatural. The Bible said Adam and Eve, not Florence and the Machine.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

If a company’s hiring sign says, “Come grow with us,” you’re about to do the work of 3-5 people.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Even if there’s a murderer behind me, finish chewing before you tell me.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

The sole purpose of some household items is to make it impossible for you to open the damn drawer.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I had an irrational fear of bees until I saw My Girl and it became rational.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Life can be so beautiful, you just can’t get sober.

Shared recently on Threads:

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Just shared via Threads:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Breaking via Telegram:

I literally just went through something, and now I’m going through something else. What’s next?

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.

Breaking via Snapchat:

I assume people who bookmark my posts are building a case against me.

Live now on Telegram:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

Going bananas on Facebook:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

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