Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

I won $6 on a scratch-off last night. Out of my way, peasants!

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

The gap in my resume is because I was trying to reach enlightenment for 5 years.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

French is bullshit. They keep changing the translation of ‘soup du jour’ each day.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

If you meet me and I’m talking to myself, just keep walking. I’m self-employed and I’m in a meeting with senior management.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

“I’d love to go to the moon” I said “but on a full moon day of course, no point going all that way when only half of it’s there”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Couples who finish each other’s sentences have killed before and will kill again.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Nobody is doing it like me because this is probably not the right way to do it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,778

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Seen just now on Instagram:

Money talks, but all mine ever says is goodbye.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I’m not actively avoiding you. I don’t actively do anything.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.

Making waves on Twitch:

When I was a kid, we weren’t allowed to use our phones in school. Mainly because the cords wouldn’t reach.

Shared recently on Instagram:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Live now on Slack:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
🌊🤿 "Forget the drama, I'm just here for synchronized swimming and mermaid auditions. Who's got the glitter tails?" 🧜✨

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Don’t study, get slutty!

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2 months ago

advice, dating, fun, humor, party, slutty, study, youth
They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

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2 months ago

appliance, curiosity, dishwasher, humor, i, invention, kitchen, know, need, window
Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

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3 months ago

form, growth, health, high, high school, media, mental, mental health, people, personal, personal growth, school, self-care, social, social media, unfollow
Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

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female, female rage, frustration, handbag, humor, rage, shoulder, slipping
There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

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2 months ago

admin, authority, drunk, Facebook, group, humor, power, village
You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

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5 months ago

ever, funny observation, game, gaming, guys, hallucination, hours, humor, long play, observation, play, sound, sounds, start, straight, video, video game

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Coffee doesn’t even work on me anymore. I just drink it because the taste tricks my brain into thinking I’m a functioning adult.

10 shares on Pinterest this month:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

98 shares on Discord this month:

My husband asked me if he had any annoying habits then got offended during the PowerPoint presentation.

76 shares on X this month:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

Getting a nose ring, so I don’t lose my keys.

74 shares on WeChat this month:

They just don’t put milkshakes in the yard like they used to.

66 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I worry that avoiding all human interaction isn’t a real hobby.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

65 shares on Messenger this month:

The tragedy of my life is that I theoretically know when I shouldn’t say anything. And then I hear myself talking.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

If you drink enough, any bar can be a karaoke bar.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

Remember when we were young we wanted to stay up for New Year’s? Now we’re old and cursing because we’re staying up past 9:30 and our entire sleep routine is disturbed.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

How dare you? I’m literally the sweetest most rage filled person on earth.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Liking a post I don’t understand just to impress the algorithm.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

A toddler can do more in one unsupervised minute than most people can do all day.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I bet the guy who named the sperm whale wasn’t allowed to name things anymore after that.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

The only lesson I remember from the pandemic is that you’re only supposed to wash your hands if it’s your birthday.

Making waves on Messenger:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I find pleasure in closing tabs in my wife’s brain. This worry… done. That task… complete.

Live now on Facebook:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

Just shared via Discord:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I read classics because my FOMO is making me want to understand every reference ever.

Spotted on Discord:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Don’t study, get slutty!

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

Female rage is your handbag continuously slipping off your shoulder.

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

You guys ever play a game for hours straight? You start hallucinating the sounds.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨