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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

If I got $5 every time I thought of you, I would start thinking of you.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I’m a single issue voter. I’m single and it’s an issue.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

I’m the type of idiot to be loyal during the talking stage.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I hope this 17th text in a row with no response finds you well.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Just learned in psychology that when a man goes to sleep first, it’s because he’s comfortable around you and wants you to go through his phone.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Some people graduate with honors, I am just honored to graduate.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via YouTube:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Live now on TikTok:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Spreading quickly via X:

Imagine giving someone your heart at Christmas, but the very next day they give it away. Haha, would feel so stupid.

Going viral on Telegram:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Freshly posted on X:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Going bananas on Telegram:

If we were subway rats, I’d share my pizza crust with you.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Two mysterious people live in my house. “Somebody” and “Nobody.” Somebody did it and nobody knows who.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you’re a squatter, every day is leg day.

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

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If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.
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Commentary:
Feeling blessed to have your attention! I must be in the VIP section of the Ignored Club 😂🙌🙈

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

85 shares on Telegram this month:

It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Whoever allowed me to become an adult needs to be fired.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

Interviewer: Why do you want to work in customer service? Me: Well, I’m really good at apologizing for things that aren’t my fault.

62 shares on LinkedIn this month:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t text. I will contact you telepathically.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

19 shares on YouTube this month:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

47 shares on Slack this month:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

53 shares on X this month:

“Those tattoos will make it harder to get a job!” Okay, well so will my personality.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I want this laziness removed from my body.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

According to “The Hobbit”, Gollum was once a handsome young man who was robbed of his youth, zest for life and energy by putting on a ring. Men, think about it!

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,410

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

Adulting is realizing Monday is a better ‘off day’ than Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Oh, I’m so excited to wear Uggs, beanies, and oversized sweaters. I can feel fall creeping up.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve got 50 minutes to make it look like I’ve been flossing for the last 6 months.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Excuse me, but would you sign my petition to ban petitions?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Thank God I have a cat. Who else is gonna shit in this box I have?

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Kids should get the last name of whichever parent has more followers.

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Trending via Pinterest:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Spotted on Telegram:

So I think the mammals have now ravaged this planet long enough. It’s time for the reptiles to take over again.

Going bananas on Slack:

Passwords are like underwear: You shouldn’t leave them out where people can see them, you should change them regularly, and you shouldn’t loan them out to strangers.

Spotted on Threads:

Mothers be doing unnecessary housework and then get mad at you when they’re tired.

Just shared via WeChat:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Live now on Telegram:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

Just shared via Facebook:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Dear diary, I have to lock in tomorrow, fix everything, and do everything.

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