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"🏰🎩🤣 Can you picture the world united in the noble quest of getting you a magnificent castle? 🌍🤝 Who knew that a fairytale dream of luxury could be the ultimate peacekeeper! 🏰✨ #CastleForAll #WorldUnityGoals"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

1 month ago
12, achievement, castle, comparison, humor, moon, people, statistics, takeshi’s, Takeshi’s Castle, think, thought-provoking, trivia
My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

1 month ago
asleep, exhaustion, humor, i, relatable, sleep, superpower, tired, wake, wake up
Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

5 months ago
face, i, landlord, me, mortgage, paying, rent, sit, straight, straight face, tenant, told, while
I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

1 month ago
believe, children, deception, fine, food, good, hidden, honesty, humor, i, lying, parenting, snacks, where
Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

1 month ago
activity, beautiful, dating, drinks, Friday, fun, fun activity, humor, i, invitation, invite, me, relaxation, weekend, woman
Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

1 month ago
age, aging, chicken, chicken noodle soup, cold, cold medicine, fever, fifty, health, humor, humor about age, means, medicine, night, noodle, rest, retirement, Saturday, Saturday Night Fever, soup, welcome

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

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Windmill? Big fan.

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Stop bringing shitty Bluetooth speakers on hikes. No one came to the woods to hear you listen to Katy Perry.

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The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

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Find someone who cares about you as much as Gmail cares about new devices signing into your account.

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The only guarantee in life is, if you run errands looking like shit, you will run into everyone you haven’t seen in months.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Just drank a big glass of water, and I regret to inform you, they might be right about hydration.

Just landed via Slack:

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Live now on X:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Just shared via Messenger:

That pen in the junk drawer that hasn’t been used in four years picked today to have an attitude.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Just because talking is for you doesn’t mean that starting a podcast is.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Broadcasted on Threads:

“AI is coming for your job.” Yeah, I’d like to see AI drink 11 coffees, then have a panic attack.

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Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Great news everyone! The priest who took my confession is expected to make a full recovery.

Blocking anyone who tries to motivate me.

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

Marriage is scary, what if he doesn’t want our house to look like my Pinterest board.

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Cool things happen when you start hanging out outside a lot. Animals just appear and stuff.

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

If Keith Richards survived the ’70s, the ’80s, and 1.2 million Marlboros, I can probably survive anything.

Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.

Bro to bro: Never get your haircut on the day of a special event.

Sometimes I can’t believe people have had the honor of experiencing my love and chose to hurt me instead.

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

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Imagine how much better the world would be if everyone set aside their differences and came together as one to buy me a castle.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

My superpower is to wake up more tired than I was when I fell asleep.

Had to sit with a straight face while my landlord told me I was paying his rent and mortgage for him.

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

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Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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