Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Two bros having a conversation in the 1700s like “omg, we should totally start a pamphlet”

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but there are so many movies out there that have watched me sleep.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

What have I done to deserve this? Oh yeah, right, I remember.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

My boss wants me to train some other employees so it’s pretty obvious he has no idea I am completely incompetent.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,719

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

“How am I supposed to avoid Al when I’ve procrastinated on a paper?” With a night full of caffeine and nicotine like your forefathers, you babies.

Making waves on Telegram:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Making waves on X:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Trending via Telegram:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Photogenic people are magical. You could snap a pic of them mid- explosive diarrhea, and they’d still look good.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

Trending via Slack:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When "procrastibaking" has been done 5 times, "Procrastibettering" is next on the to-do list 😂🥐➡️👍

better, casual, casual tone, else, except, growth, humor, improvement, lol, motivation, nothing, personal, personal growth, self, self-improvement, tone, version, yourself

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

0

5 months ago

bored, boredom, creativity, food, humor, imagine, invention, mayonnaise, person
I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

0

2 months ago

activity, climb, desire, funny perspective, humor, i, perspective, problem, problem-solving, rock, rock climb, solving, stairs, understand
You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

0

2 months ago

allowed, dog, early, early leave, home, humor, leave, lot, miss, missing, missing pet, pet, should, work, workplace, workplace humor
An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

0

2 months ago

activity, escape, escape room, event, friends, fun, fun activity, high, high school, humorous, humorous situation, just, memory, nostalgia, reunion, room, school, situation, social, social event
I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

0

2 months ago

appearance, confidence, enjoy, enjoyment, humor, i, let, outdoors, people, pretty, self-love, should, today, walk
The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

0

2 months ago

assessment, child, danger, function, humor, middle, middle name, much, name, only, parenting

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Twitch this month:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

16 shares on Facebook this month:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Eleven out of ten people are stupid.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Things went well until the evil supermarket people hid my favorite products in new places.

41 shares on Twitch this month:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

79 shares on Discord this month:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

39 shares on Discord this month:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

49 shares on Discord this month:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

If you’re tired of “food” and want to try something a bit more sophisticated, may I recommend “cuisine”?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I have nothing nice to wear for the government shutdown.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

My level of sarcasm’s gotten to a point where I don’t even know if I’m kidding or not.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Messenger:

I enjoy long, romantic walks … to the departure gate.

Just landed via Discord:

It’s a shame that the know-it-alls know everything better but don’t do anything better.

Going viral on Facebook:

Make sure you bury me near a bathroom because death is long, and I’m sure I’ll still have to get up and pee.

Trending via Telegram:

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

Just shared via WeChat:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Trending via YouTube:

I’m the ick in fantastic.

Trending via Discord:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Seen just now on X:

Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.

Going bananas on Reddit:

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Imagine how bored the person who invented mayonnaise must have been.

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

You should be allowed to go home early from work if you miss your dog a lot.

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

I look so pretty today. I should go for a walk and let the people enjoy this.

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨