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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Couldn’t afford a man cave. Had to settle for a gazebro.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

All positions for annoying people in my life have been filled. Applicants need not apply, thank you.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

They say half the battle of getting in shape is mental, so I thought about the gym really hard today.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

By age 40, you should have an entire wardrobe of clothes—one size too small—that you keep in eternal optimism that you’ll fit in them again one day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,740

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I wish you could put your whole life on do not disturb.

Live now on WeChat:

“So, what are your hobbies?” Oh, I can’t afford any.

Going viral on X:

A pet resting their little paw on you is a sign of respect in their culture.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Seen just now on Discord:

My favourite animal is me when I have money.

Shared recently on Messenger:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

No matter how old you are, when the kitchen roll is empty, you have a telescope.

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

1 month ago

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Commentary:
When life gives you questions, just remember: some folks are serving answers à la carte! 🤔🙄🍽️

answer, full, humor, idiot, idiots, life, question, questions, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

2 months ago
comedy, exception, face, forget, humor, i, insult, joke, wit
Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

1 month ago
cardigan, comfort, day, favorite, humor, morning, nothing, realization, realize, surprise, wake, wardrobe
You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

1 month ago
dating, humor, man, relationship, self-awareness, situationship, texting
Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

1 month ago
actually, communication, enough, honesty, humor, i, know, knowledge, opinion, say
It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

2 months ago
always, entertainment, fun, honesty, humor, irony, know, lie, listening, truth
I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

1 month ago
anything, doing, done, getting, humor, job, laziness, motivation, procrastination, productivity, today, work

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

One of the weirdest things about being an adult is having a favorite stove top burner. No one ever talks about it, but y’all know it’s true.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Only bots from Nigeria are allowed to call me dear.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

A real smartphone would cut you off.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

Oh, I shouldn’t worry? Why didn’t I think of that?

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

I’ve reached the age where I just bought a bird bath for my backyard.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Don’t hate me, date me!

Seen just now on Twitch:

Source? It was revealed to me on my walk.

Seen just now on WeChat:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Trending via Reddit:

They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

Going viral on Discord:

A simple “hi” can be the beginning of two years of therapy.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

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Activity Log ✨

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Forget hot girl summer, it’s rot girl summer (laying in bed, reading books, laying under layers of soft blankets).

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

I had big plans to sleep in today, but my bladder canceled.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

Shade coming from a tree bearing no fruit could never phase me. Carry on.

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Stop rushing in the morning. You’re starting your day in panic mode.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

Justice is a dish best served cold. If it were served warm, it would be just water.

“Do not touch” must be one of the scariest things to read in braille.

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

I tried a onesome before, but I started catching feelings.

There’s really nothing as pathetic as watching a sad little man argue with Grok in hopes of manipulating the conversation to get an answer he wants.

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Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

Nothing prepares you for the day you wake up and realize you have a favorite cardigan.

You are not in a situationship. You are texting a man who doesn’t like you.

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.

I’m doing a terrific job of not getting anything done today.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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