Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

In my culture, family is completely unimportant. And we hate food.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

In these difficult times, it’s important to remember that cheese exists.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Told a couple of jokes at a Zoom meeting. Turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Unfortunately, I am literally obsessed with the woman I am when I get stuff done, so I’m just going to keep doing that.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I would like you to meet my significant other. Her name is Cheese.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Has someone told the whales that they can’t sing?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Being drunk and liking every tweet without reading it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Me in hell: “So did it hurt when you fell from heaven.” Lucifer: “Get out!”

Just shared via Telegram:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Making waves on Reddit:

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Just landed via X:

Forgetting your phone at home is the modern equivalent of leaving your sword behind in medieval times.

Breaking via WeChat:

Mini skirts are so cute and fun, like, oops, my ass is out.

Going viral on Reddit:

A baby cow is called a calf because it’s half a cow. Half cow. Calf. No further questions.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Just shared via Discord:

Having a cat is like having a roommate that doesn’t want to hang out and never intends on being friends.

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When life gives you questions, just remember: some folks are serving answers à la carte! 🤔🙄🍽️

answer, full, humor, idiot, idiots, life, question, questions, sarcasm

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

0

2 months ago

advice, breakup, broke, couple, Google, humor, relationship, should
Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

0

2 months ago

am, drinking, drinking habit, habit, humor, i, joke, just, kid, kids, me, okay, parenting, school, soon, start, teacher, terrible
Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

0

2 months ago

attraction, complicated, dating, flirting, humor, relationships, right, single, things, where
I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

0

2 months ago

bacon, food, health, humor, i, me, much, never, overeating, say, self-awareness, terms, think, thought, too, while
Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

0

5 months ago

accessibility, care, free, free service, getting, health, humor, mental, mental health, psychology, self, self-care, service, should, therapy, trauma
I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

0

2 months ago

age, elderly, humor, i, life, life stage, people, perspective, stage, where

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on Twitch this month:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

74 shares on TikTok this month:

Is it a good sign when your therapist keeps saying Ka-Ching?

27 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t care for the term drug mule, why can’t it be a drug unicorn.

74 shares on Reddit this month:

Just shaved my whole body for Santa.

83 shares on Telegram this month:

“Are you free tomorrow?” No, tomorrow I’m still expensive.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

16 shares on Snapchat this month:

Five out of six people find Russian Roulette to be a safe activity.

13 shares on Telegram this month:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

37 shares on Threads this month:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

14 shares on TikTok this month:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I’m gonna be the first zoomer to start dropping the ‘two thousand’ when referring to the past. “Yeah, that was back in ‘17.”

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

My spirit animal is chasing his own tail.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

The way turkeys feel about November is probably how treadmills feel about January.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

My toddler asked if we could go to the zoo today, and I said, “I can’t see that happening.” Then she literally left the room and came back with my glasses.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Thank you, God, for another day. Let’s get this 12-hour screen time.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has shared:

Guilty pleasure? Why would I ever feel guilty about pleasure.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Working on a laptop outside is an abysmal experience.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

Celebrating President’s Day by not doing anything I promised I would.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

That place is so crowded; nobody goes there anymore.

Live now on Pinterest:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Freshly posted on X:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

The best part about NYC is you literally see a brand new, hottest woman in your entire life every single day.

Just landed via Threads:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Spotted on Messenger:

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Trending via TikTok:

I live in constant fear that some douchebag is going to show up to a bonfire with a guitar.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Seen just now on Slack:

No matter how messed up your situation is, someone on Reddit’s already lived it, cried about it, and made a 3-part update with screenshots and farmed 12k upvotes.

Live now on Twitch:

I lied, there’s no sex. Can you tell me a bedtime story?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

I’m at that age where I can no longer refer to other people as “elderly.”

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨