Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Sometimes I wanna delete all my social media and throw my phone into a river.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

I found my first grey pubic hair today, but I didn’t freak out; unlike everyone else in the Zoom meeting.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Dear sleep: thanks for trying, but you can’t beat surfing the net.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

You’re no Sultan of Swing, buddy, you’re hardly a Governor of Groove.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

“Well, at least things can’t get any worse” has turned out to be a failure of my imagination.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,702

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

A bridesmaid, but to carry the end of my CVS receipt.

Seen just now on Telegram:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Just shared via X:

One big difference between men and women is that if a woman says “Smell this,” it usually smells nice.

Making waves on Reddit:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Spotted on YouTube:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Just landed via TikTok:

I will never forget how to spell bananas, thanks to Gwen Stefani.

Just shared via Twitch:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Netflix be like “we know exactly what movie you talkin’ ’bout but we ain’t got it lol”.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Unlocking my inner five-year-old… just need to find my superhero cape and a lifetime supply of cookies! 🍪🦸‍♂️✨

back, childlike, childlike wonder, five-year, five-year plan, goal, growth, happiness, joy, personal, personal growth, plan, whimsy, wonder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

0

2 months ago

3am, balance, comedy, deprivation, healing, health, hours, humor, insomnia, late, late hours, late night, life, life balance, night, ruin, self-care, sleep, sleep deprivation, stay, unfortunately
My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

0

2 months ago

early, exercising, fitness, going, humor, husband, looking, need, new, new husband, relationship, shape, start, tomorrow, wake, waking, waking up
Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

0

2 months ago

anti-stress, balls, breast, breasts, device, female, humor, irony, nature, stress
Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

0

2 months ago

35, after, age, birthday, Facebook, growing, growing up, humor, just, keep, media, number, perception, social, social media
I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

0

2 months ago

away, curb, driving, habit, humor, observation, parking, parking habit, person, sarcastic, too
Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

0

2 months ago

bad, car, car window, childhood, generational, humor, life, manual, me, nostalgia, roll, struggle, technology, tell, window

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Threads this month:

There is a house I drive by most days and I can never tell if they are having a yard sale or that is just how they live.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Applying lip balm when you know someone’s watching you is a power move.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

68 shares on WeChat this month:

Bit strange that the same culture is responsible for both kissing and onion soup. You’d think they’d be incompatible.

28 shares on Pinterest this month:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

30 shares on Twitch this month:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

16 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t always push on pull doors but when I do, I do it two or three times to confirm how dumb I really am.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

I’ve learned the best way to find something that I’ve lost is to buy a replacement one, to make the lost one spontaneously appear.

54 shares on Messenger this month:

Don’t forget to whine and complain about Monday today.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

It’s weird that Usher doesn’t have any songs about showing people to their seats.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Me, seeing a man proposing to a woman in public: Hey, this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Waffles are just pancakes with convenient boxes to hold your syrup.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

My career plan? Win the lottery and disappear.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I am so lucky that I can’t tell the difference between a heartfelt compliment and sarcastic disdain. Life is much easier when you’re dumb.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Live now on Reddit:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Shared recently on Reddit:

I wonder if the fall of Rome was this stupid.

Going viral on Facebook:

There used to be many different names for the childhood game of knocking on doors and running away. But these days, it’s simply referred to as ‘being an Amazon driver’.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Spreading quickly via X:

Some people you look at or hear talking and think to yourself, the wheel may be turning, but the hamster is dead.

Making waves on Snapchat:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Spotted on Facebook:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Female breasts are nature’s anti-stress balls. The irony is that they are connected to the biggest stress-inducing device.

Age is just a number that you keep off of Facebook after 35.

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨