Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Counting down the days until I can pull off the ultimate 'I totally forgot, but here's a last-minute surprise' 😅💘 Who needs a calendar when you've got strategic procrastination skills? 📆 #RomanticSlacker"

couple, day, days, forget, forgot, home, humor, i, love, only, pretend, relationship, valentine’s, Valentine’s Day

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

0

2 months ago

cure, determination, found, humor, i, insomnia, irony, rest, sleep
On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

0

2 months ago

action, actions, average, daily, daily action, else, good, humor, self-deprecation, something, something else
Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

0

5 months ago

call, communication, Earth, frustration, horror, humor, i, just, me, message, missed, missed call, phone, screen, sorry, staring, technology, text, text message, why, wondering
Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

0

2 months ago

actually, easier, grow, honesty, humor, lie, life, longer, much, nose, people, Pinocchio, time, truth
Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

0

2 months ago

bananas, caffeine, chaos, energy, going, human, humans, humor, just, meat, stress, wrapped
I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

0

2 months ago

AI, common, comparison, confidence, confident, humor, i, incorrect, incorrect information, information, lot, occasionally, technology, tone

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

95 shares on Pinterest this month:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Dude so boring, it’s like his personality swiped left on him.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

93 shares on X this month:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

61 shares on Snapchat this month:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

So heartbreaking to do laundry and realize you can’t wash the clothes you’re literally wearing right now… you will never have a completely fresh start.

74 shares on Snapchat this month:

This Monday could have been an email.

33 shares on X this month:

Unfollowing high school people really is a form of self-care.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

It takes so much energy to go inside a Walmart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I need a room full of mirrors, so I can be surrounded by losers.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has viewed:

Don’t check on your introverted friends this time of year. They’re probably turning their lights off and pretending they’re not home.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Just shared via Telegram:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Making waves on Facebook:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Trending via Twitch:

When my friends are religious, I pretend not to notice.

Just landed via Discord:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Trending via Facebook:

Sometimes I do random acts of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Trending via Snapchat:

You can’t stop me. My tampon wrapper told me I was bold and brilliant.

Going bananas on X:

Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera.

Going viral on TikTok:

Life is just a vicious cycle of needing to go to the grocery store.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

On average, my daily actions demonstrate I’m probably good at something else.

Sorry I missed your call, I was staring in horror at the screen, wondering why on earth you couldn’t just text me.

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨