Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

If ads were a person, it would be that one neighbor who won’t stop talking to you at the most inconvenient of times.

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I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

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Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

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Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

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I didn’t mean to gain weight. It happened by snaccident.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Me, as a vampire: Tell me, mortal, have you had any alcohol in the last 24 hours?