Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I miss the good ol’ days until I remember things like having to get out of my chair and smack the TV to get a clearer picture.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Job interview: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: Hopefully on a sabbatical.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

There should be a variant of fencing with two guys trying to kiss one another.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

For security reasons, I highly recommend that you leave one of your children home during the holidays to set elaborate booby traps in case of intruders.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

My social circle is so small that when the phone rings, I know it’s scammers.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,810

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

The worst part of my grandfather’s dementia was slowly watching him forget about Dre.

Just shared via Messenger:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Trending via Messenger:

I may be the reason why our kids are ugly, but you’re the reason why they’re stupid.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Just landed via Facebook:

If we keep saving daylight, daylight will never learn to save itself.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Study so hard until Dior is like Shein to you.

Trending via Reddit:

If you’re feeling lonely, start a small business. Then you’ll have a little company.

Going bananas on Reddit:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

More funny quotes 👇

Imagine having someone to come home to who doesn’t have fur.

0

4 days ago

companionship, fur, having, home, humor, imagine, pet, someone
The world started without permission again.

0

4 days ago

again, event, humor, permission, sarcasm, started, unexpected, unexpected event, world
The Angry Birds assaulted me and made me rip their disgusting bong.

0

4 days ago

angry, Angry Bird, assault, bird, birds, bong, disgusting, game, humor, me, parody, video, video game
Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

0

4 days ago

digital, digital rental, entertainment, frustration, humor, looking, movie, online, online shopping, oops, pay, prime, Prime Video, rental, say, shopping, streaming, subscription, video
The best part about being married is having a permanent person to debrief with immediately after any social event.

0

4 days ago

after, being, best, communication, debrief, event, having, marriage, married, person, relationship, social, social event, spouse
In university, you can literally tell who had no freedom at home.

0

4 days ago

freedom, home, humor, literally, observation, student, tell, university
Do cats have a sense of causation between grooming themselves and coughing up hairballs, or do they think it’s just an annoying separate thing which just happens to them sometimes?

0

4 days ago

annoying, behavior, cat, cats, causation, coughing, grooming, hairball, humor, just, pet, pet behavior, sense, sometimes, thing, think
Dear music, thanks!

0

4 days ago

dear, gratitude, humor, music, thanks
The peace of not knowing.

0

4 days ago

calmness, humor, ignorance, irony, knowing, peace
I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

0

4 days ago

anything, fat, humor, old, question, short, something, thinking, word

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Do y’all ever think about how, in Korean, you can’t scream over text because there’s no uppercase… I think about that all the time, for some reason.

73 shares on X this month:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

91 shares on WeChat this month:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

Combining breakfast and lunch: Brunch. Combining wine and dinner: Winner.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

Good morning to everyone except my baby, who already said good morning to me at 1 a.m., 3 a.m., and 5:46 a.m.

22 shares on Messenger this month:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

You’re never alone. There’s mold.

78 shares on X this month:

“NOT dishwasher safe!” You’ll be okay, buddy, just do your best in there.

18 shares on X this month:

Why does the weekend always feel like it lasts five minutes?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Are there cheat codes for parenting teenagers? This level is really hard.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

At this point, I’m rooting for the aliens.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

My brain doesn’t sea typos until I’ve already hit send.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

The feminine urge to act clueless while knowing everything.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

They should invent a day where you aren’t tired.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Some people call me crazy. I prefer the term happy with a twist.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

Activity Log ✨

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨