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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just here unloading my dishwasher.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

I am cutting contact with my 3-year-old narcissist nephew.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

There’s no post-breakup healing process for girls. You just wake up one day and be like, “Ew,” and you’re free.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Oh, to live in an apartment alone and do whatever I want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,650

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

Trending via YouTube:

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

Breaking via X:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Nothing brings neighbors together like a few cops cars in front of another neighbor’s house that no one likes.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

What genius called it road rage and not locomotive?

Making waves on Discord:

Me (young, naive): “I hope something good happens.” Me (now): “I hope whatever bad happens is at least funny.”

Spotted on YouTube:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

Seen just now on Facebook:

It’s difficult to play hard to get when I’m already hard to want.

Seen just now on Messenger:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Going bananas on Telegram:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

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The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.
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Commentary:
When you're fluent in emoji and graduated top of your class in Ending Conversations 101 👍😄

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Slack this month:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

100 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

65 shares on Threads this month:

Late replies don’t bother me. As long as we’re not in love, or you don’t owe me money, take your time.

20 shares on WeChat this month:

You stop moving your mouse for 5 seconds, and Microsoft Teams will say you never showed up for work.

85 shares on Reddit this month:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

82 shares on WeChat this month:

My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with fake tan.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

The key to looking amazing is looking like shit most of the time, so it’s more of a surprise.

98 shares on Facebook this month:

I remember when “disinformation” used to be called “lies.”

28 shares on Slack this month:

Apple, who gives you permission to turn the brightness down again when I’ve just turned it up?

74 shares on Reddit this month:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Just washed my windows and not a single bloke came out and said ‘You can do mine next!’ This used to be a real country.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing nobody gives pigeons enough credit for is their ability to get out of the way on the sidewalk. A lot of you could learn a thing or two from them.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,408

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

My favorite machine at the gym is the one where you put change in, and snacks come out.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Unmarried in your 30s should honestly be rebranded as – ‘Congrats, you didn’t pick the wrong person out of panic’.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I never finish what I start. I have a black belt in partial arts.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

Just shared via Twitch:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Please try to schedule meetings around my need for attention.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Yesterday I really wanted tacos and now I’m eating tacos. Follow your dreams!

Spotted on Snapchat:

The cynicism of those who urge me not to do what I can to help the Nigerian royal family.

Trending via WeChat:

I can usually cope with the opinions of others because I don’t listen.

Going viral on Discord:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

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