Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has downloaded:

Has anyone ever considered that Dr. Pepper could be a gynecologist?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

The problem with believing that nothing matters except you, is that eventually everyone will just leave you alone to take extra special care of yourself.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Sometimes I just want a man to talk to me in the same voice he uses to talk to his dog.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

These cannot be the same knees that used to get low in heels at the club.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,025

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Do you enjoy addiction, anxiety, and urinating? Then coffee may be the beverage for you.

Just shared via Reddit:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Some days you feel like you’re surrounded by idiots, other days you realize it’s not just some days.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Making waves on X:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Spotted on Snapchat:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, Twitter: where every opinion is an expert-level performance piece in the theater of the absurd! 🎭🤷‍♂️🦜

commentary, expression, humor, knowledge, lack, let, media, never, opinion, people, social, social media, strong, Twitter, welcome, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

1 month ago
6, 6 a.m., a.m., am, early, early riser, energy, exercise, fitness, humor, i, lifestyle, morning, morning run, motivation, people, riser, run, runner, want, whatever
Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

3 months ago
awkward, awkward situation, being, clock, feels, flirt, hostage, hostage situation, humor, situation, while, work
If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

1 month ago
biscuit, body, diet, fitness, human, humor, irony, needs, nutrient, shape, slimming
Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

1 month ago
body, body image, doctor, humor, image, life, negativity, office, scale, self-care
A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

1 month ago
again, bring, convenience, frustration, house, humor, i, leave, need, next, print, printer, service, tech, thing, where, working, year
I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

1 month ago
attractive, confidence, humor, i, keep, me, mouth, nothing, quality, say, self-awareness, shut, think

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

If you’re offended by bacon, the United States of America isn’t for you.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

God forbid a girl wanna kiss and be kissed.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

The other day, I got the crazy idea to see if I could still do a cartwheel. I can’t.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Unfortunately for the haters, I will continue to keep being me.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I’m looking for friends with benefits. And by that I mean friends who have pools, boats and beautiful vacation homes.

Going bananas on Twitch:

This year has been the perfect blend between me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

Going viral on Slack:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Just shared via Twitch:

Some days you’re the quick brown fox and other days you’re the lazy dog.

Spotted on Instagram:

Just realized when I get a partner, that means my family is gonna know that I have feelings.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Tom and Jerry fooled me into thinking dogs bullied cats when it’s the opposite in reality.

OK, just so everybody’s clear, I’m going to put my glasses on.

Nothing ruins a Friday like realizing it’s only Wednesday.

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here plucking chin hairs.

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

This football season, we need to bring back getting drunk and calling in to your team’s local radio show after the game. Such a lost art.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

I’m proud of myself because, despite having so many expenses, I still manage to add more.

I’ve already broken all my resolutions and like four commandments.

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

In every imagination I have pictured myself in, I’m never poor.

I’m addicted to placebos.

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

Welcome to Twitter, where people never let their lack of knowledge get in the way of expressing a strong opinion.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Being flirted with while you’re on the clock feels like a hostage situation.

If biscuits were slimming and contained every nutrient the human body needs, I’d be in terrific shape.

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏