Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone you hate is breathing.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Pizza rolls are comfort food because they look like little pillows.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

According to my Spotify Wrapped, I am what got played the most this year.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

I may regret the megabytes I’ve wasted, but I’ll never regret the megabites I’ve tasted.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has downloaded:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

There’s someone in our team who behaves horribly to me and whenever I have to type his name, I’ve taken to using a slightly smaller font size than for everyone else’s.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,274

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Breaking via TikTok:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Freshly posted on Discord:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Just shared via Twitch:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Trending via Messenger:

I’ve just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The best way to reach me is with intelligence and humor.

Spotted on Discord:

I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Going viral on Threads:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Taking advice from ChatGPT is like asking a magic 8 ball for stock tips—might as well flip a coin! 😂🔮

8, ball, ChatGPT, communication, consulting, funny reaction, humor, i, just, magic, magic 8 ball, me, playing, please, reaction, skepticism, someone, stop, whenever

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

0

2 months ago

casual, comfort, errands, fashion, house, humor, lazy, pajamas, put, taking
I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

0

2 months ago

apocalypse, basement, eat, eating, excited, food, humor, i, irony, love, survival
Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

0

5 months ago

always, asleep, before, change, fall, humor, life, morning, motivation, procrastination, sleep, wake, why
The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

0

2 months ago

back, bad, bad habit, bundle, communication, habit, habits, humanity, humor, i, me, message, mushroom, need, psychedelic, response, self-improvement, shit, tell, together, told, us, weeks
Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

0

2 months ago

aliens, am, coming, door, Earth, everyday, frustration, going, humor, i, irony, misunderstanding, moon, people, pull, pushing, still, struggle
I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

0

2 months ago

grammar, humor, i, irony, language, linguistics, live, moose, plural, want, where, wordplay, world

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

43 shares on Threads this month:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

58 shares on Pinterest this month:

Messages are way funnier when you know how the person talks.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

They said I can never go back to that Vietnamese spot. They banh mi pho life.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

Ancestors survived five mass extinctions on earth for me to be killed by a house cat I was trying to put a Christmas sweater on.

41 shares on X this month:

Remember when the FBI would threaten you at the beginning of every VHS tape? That was pretty cool.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

46 shares on X this month:

Thinking of you while I’m chopping onions.

43 shares on Telegram this month:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

30 shares on X this month:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

There should be a “Take Your Friend to Work Day,” so we can actually see what our friends do all day and meet the characters from all their work stories.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

Me, when someone’s obsessed with me: Yikes! Me, when someone’s not obsessed with me: WTF?

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

Women pretending not to see men staring at them is an essential survival skill.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Ants can be found on every continent except Antarctica, which is weird considering their name.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Anytime someone comments on my weight, I try to ignore them and keep my chins up.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

I love cutting off Teslas. Like you may not let me merge over but your car sure as hell will.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Just landed via X:

My heart says, chocolate and wine, but my jeans say “Woman, are you kidding? Eat a salad!”

Trending via WeChat:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Okay, this is getting ridiculous. It can’t just be the one guy. It’s gotta be a group of people pooping my son’s diaper.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Spotted on Discord:

Jacket I left on a chair that sometimes looks like a person at night stuns in new evening nightmare.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you sweat while you eat, it should count as a workout.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Whenever someone says “Per ChatGPT” or “ChatGPT says,” I look at them like they just consulted a magic 8 ball because, please, stop playing with me.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Taking off my house pajamas to put on my errands pajamas.

I’m kind of excited about the apocalypse. I would love to eat a basement full of food.

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

I want to live in a world where the plural of moose is mooses.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨