Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

None of the Instagram story fonts represent me.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I’m trying to cut back on how much sense I make.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

3,714

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on WhatsApp:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Seen just now on Slack:

If you need me, I’ll be in the shower pretending I can sing.

Shared recently on X:

Girls expect handwritten letters from guys who copy birthday wishes from ChatGPT.

Going viral on Slack:

Why hasn’t Lululemon created a bra-line named Lulumelons?

Just landed via TikTok:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Just landed via WeChat:

I was gonna brush up against you like a cat, but whatever, bro.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Dream job: unpaid nap intern 😴💤🛌 #Goals

balance, humor, humorous, ID, job, me, money, nap, procrastination, professional, relaxation, sleep, whole, work life, work-life balance

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

1 month ago
account, bank, bank account, budgeting, clean, clean slate, empty, finance, humor, money, month, new, new month, nice, slate, starting
Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

1 month ago
afford, affordability, apartment, being, childhood, complex, financial, financial struggle, finding, housing, kid, live, living, living situation, means, millennial, nostalgia, shady, situation, struggle, thought
Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

4 months ago
blocking, criminal, enough, humor, i, insult, medieval, throw, tomato
People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

1 month ago
backup, before, brave, employment, fear, having, job, jobs, nothing, people, quit, risk, scared, work
I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

1 month ago
deprecation, happy, humor, humor quote, i, irony, last, night, report, searching, self, self-deprecation, soul, soul searching, still
An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

1 month ago
apple, away, boredom, daily, daily routine, day, doctor, fun, humor, keep, keeps, routine, silly

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Bragging about how I’ve “really turned my life around recently” without mentioning in which direction.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Marriage is like a phone call at the night: First there’s the ring, and then you wake up.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Making waves on YouTube:

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Going bananas on Threads:

They say you should dress for the job you want then send you home as “the stormtrooper suit is not appropriate work attire”.

Going viral on TikTok:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Did the people you had a crush on always like you back or are you funny?

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

Sometimes you really do write a whole poem just to give one beautiful phrase a home.

In Star Wars, anyone can hop in any spaceship and knows how to fly it. I just spent 20 minutes trying to find the headlights in a rental car.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

The worst thing about wearing headphones is when you hallucinate people shouting you. Like, why does this happen?

I’ll see you in court (at the marriage registry) (I love you)

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

I could low-key really use a wish right now.

A lot of childhood characters weren’t so much beloved as there wasn’t anything else on the TV.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Career? Never heard of her. I’m majoring in sunshine and snacks.

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

Having a blocked nose really makes you appreciate the finer things in life, like breathing normally.

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏

Activity Log ✨

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Being a millennial means finding out you can’t afford to live in that apartment complex you thought was really shady when you were a kid.

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

I did some soul searching last night. I’m happy to report I still have one.

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Share Wordgag 🙏