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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

If you make it through life without being portrayed in a murder documentary, take the win.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

“Yeah no” is my favorite combo.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I dunno what I did in a past life but holy crap I’m sorry.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Before social media, you had to actively go out and find crazy people.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

ChatGPT’s primary use is to generate plausible excuses to leave dinner at the in-laws’.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

676 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,853

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Remember when we used to jump out of the swings? Those knees were fresh, fresh out the box.

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Hey! (with the intention of going back to sleep)

Trending via Reddit:

It’s hard to sleep knowing that cake is in the fridge.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You either die a people pleaser, or live long enough to start leaving texts on read.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

In my years of experience, people who disagree with me are usually wrong.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Just shared via Reddit:

My ex was like “I know a spot,” then took me to the lowest point in my life.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Random Funny Quotes

Random funny quotes to crack you up. 😎✌️

Random funny quotes 👇

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

0

2 months ago

avocado, diet, food, humor, January, lifestyle, protein, protein shake, shake, syrup, toast, transformation, tree, vegetable, whole
God: “You’re all a bunch of bastards and I should never have created you.”

0

2 months ago

bastards, creation, divine, existence, God, humor, i, irony, joke, never, religion, should
Counting calories is a great way to combine super fun things like math and not eating.

0

2 months ago

calory, counting, diet, eating, food, fun, great, humor, irony, math, not eating, super, things
By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

0

2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, change, communication, conversation, cue, discomfort, feel, going, humor, i, interview, job, job interview, moment, second, social, social cue, subject, subject change
What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

0

2 months ago

boat, entertainment, humor, joke, movie, name, Titanic, trivia
Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

0

2 months ago

face, friends, humor, loyalty, metaphor, ocean, octopus, relationships, stay, true, waf
Back to the Future and chill?

0

1 month ago

back, Back to the Future, chill, culture, date, future, humor, movie, pop, pop culture
People in their late 20s and early 30s are like “this is my emotional support trip to Japan.”

0

2 months ago

20s, 30s, adventure, age, early, early 30s, emotional, emotional support, humor, Japan, late, late 20s, people, support, travel, trip
Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

0

2 months ago

America, dr., Dr. Pepper, getting, just, me, pepper, Pepsi, PhD, popularity, second, soda, tell, worth
God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

0

3 months ago

career, destiny, faith, God, gods, humor, job, job search, LinkedIn, me, media, plan, search, social, social media

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

If by ‘leg day’ you mean a day that we put your legs on my shoulders, then yes, I love leg day.

21 shares on Reddit this month:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

18 shares on X this month:

Light is faster than sound. That’s why people seem so bright until you hear them talk.

80 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry I’m late, I got here as soon as I wanted to.

93 shares on Snapchat this month:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

46 shares on X this month:

I was going to go for a run, then realized I could just run my mouth on here.

15 shares on Discord this month:

I should have been a Librarian, my favorite thing to do is telling people to shut up.

57 shares on Pinterest this month:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

83 shares on Slack this month:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Spongebob wouldn’t even mess with some of y’all. But he’d hang out with me because my heart is pure, and I like to laugh a lot.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

Bring me a higher love. You have 24 hours. No cops.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

I get all the cardio I need by running out of patience.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

The world contains protons, neutrons, electrons, and morons.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I hate apps that shut off your music when you open them, like how fu*king important do you think you are?

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Spotted on Messenger:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Going viral on WeChat:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

Shared recently on Discord:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

Just shared via Twitch:

Hey man, just wanted to reach out and say I loved how much you drank at my wedding last night.

Trending via WhatsApp:

The woman that cleaned my house could make a lot of money by threatening to release the before and after photos.

Going viral on TikTok:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I hope the aliens aren’t good at basketball. My chances of making it into the NBA are already slim.

Activity Log ✨

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨