194 Funny animal quotes

• The goose: Canada’s most violent saxophone.

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  2 months ago

  animal, Canada, comedy, goose, humor, music, saxophone, violent

• The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

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  2 months ago

  animal, annoying, both, cat, cats, dumb, humor, needs, number, perfect, perfect number, pet, same, sibling, siblings, stupid, type

• You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

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  2 months ago

  always, animal, animal video, behavior, cat, emotions, humor, i, media, mood, pet, pet behavior, puppy, share, sharing, shit, social, social media, someone, sweet, type, video, video sharing, videos

• I don’t know why we traded horses for cars. Your car won’t stop in front of a river and be like, “no way dumbass, we aren’t going to make that.”

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  2 months ago

  absurdity, animal, car, cars, front, going, horse, humor, i, know, river, stop, trade, transportation

• Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.

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  2 months ago

  animal, bawk, chicken, humor, joke, outside, pun, sound, think

• If chickens knew how good they tasted, they would understand.

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  2 months ago

  animal, chicken, food, good, humor, irony, taste, understand, understanding

• A camel walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, you can’t bring your own drinks in here!”

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  2 months ago

  animal, bar, bartender, bring, camel, drinks, here, humor, joke, own, pun, situation, walks

• I think Cinderella should have lived a happy life with all her animal friends rather than settle for a man who had her try on a shoe because he didn’t recognize her without makeup.

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  2 months ago

  animal, animal friend, Cinderella, fairy, fairy tale, friend, friends, happy, happy life, i, independence, life, makeup, man, relationship, shoe, should, tale, think, try

• Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

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  2 months ago

  animal, canary, geography, humor, irony, island, isle, joke, know, same, thing, virgin, Virgin Isle, wordplay

• My bear’s diarrhea problems are really starting to worry me. The vet says he’s getting better but he’s not out of the woods yet.

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  2 months ago

  animal, animal care, bear, better, care, diarrhea, getting, health, humor, me, problems, vet, woods, worry

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