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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I finally figured out my lifelong dream of becoming a human blanket, but my friends still call it napping on their couch.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

Source? It was revealed to me on a walk.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Nobody views your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

Sunsets and women are undoubtedly God’s best creations.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Life is so funny because you think you look good today and a year later you look even better.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,565

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

A couple of years ago, the internet was an escape from the real world. Today, the real world is an escape from the internet.

Just landed via Threads:

I should have peed before I left, and other things I’ll never learn: A memoir

Making waves on WeChat:

How was the word “Wife” invented? They took the first two and last two letters of wildlife.

Making waves on Pinterest:

A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.

Making waves on Instagram:

Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

Just landed via Slack:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you’re going to walk in my shoes, please also wear my FitBit.

Shared recently on Discord:

I feel like you’re allowed to start your day at 4 p.m. if you are pure of heart.

Just landed via WeChat:

That fight could’ve been an email.

24 Funny appointment quotes

More funny appointment quotes 👇

The best part about filling out doctor appointment forms online is when you get there and they say “hello, please fill out these forms!”

2 months ago

appointment, best, doctor, fill, forms, frustration, healthcare, hello, humor, irony, online, say, waiting
How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

2 months ago

appointment, awkward, awkward moment, bank, call, cancel, funny situation, humor, just, moment, say, situation, someone, sperm, sperm bank
Flossed the day before a dentist appointment like I was cramming for a history test.

2 months ago

appointment, before, care, cramming, day, dental, dental care, dentist, floss, history, humor, i, procrastination, test
Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

2 months ago

appointment, dental, dentist, humor, joke, late, me, should, start, tell
At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

2 months ago

appointment, blood, blood pressure, doctor, end, humor, irony, medical, own, pressure, self-care
The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

3 months ago

appointment, disappointment, ever, expectations, humor, irony, life, time
I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

3 months ago

anything, appointment, busy, day, day off, else, excuse, humor, i, later, management, person, procrastination, rest, time, time management
Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

3 months ago

appointment, before, boat, dentist, early, fretting, humor, month, next, payment, schedule
Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

3 months ago

appointment, dentist, humor, ID, officer, order, reminder, restraining, restraining order, sarcasm, system, yes
Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

3 months ago

appointment, around, doctor, eye, health, humor, irony, today

For even more funny appointment quotes, hit next 👇

All funny appointment quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Silicon Valley has taken over the world. Remember when nerds had the good manners to be ashamed of themselves?

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Was that meant to be a joke or did you just accidentally spill a bunch of words you were carrying around?

12 shares on WeChat this month:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

22 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

19 shares on Facebook this month:

The worst part of marriage is when you do something stupid, the best part of marriage is when your partner does something stupid.

69 shares on Pinterest this month:

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

If I win the lottery, I’m buying four politicians and some really nice shoes.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Went to HR to complain about my coworkers but my mom said she can’t fire my kids.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

57 shares on Instagram this month:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

Being married means mostly shouting “What?” from other rooms.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I would cry but my makeup is too expensive.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Yeah, I’ll get up soon, I just need to look at the internet first. Yes, the whole thing.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

I’m an adult, but not the ‘makes positive life choices’ kind.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Where do we acquire the ducks that we’re supposed to be putting in a row?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

I think we should all try to spend more time online. It seems to be helping society.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

We’ve all at least once caught our toes when putting on our knickers and jumped around the room like idiots.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The future is buffering.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Making waves on X:

Having a low-quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

The lion does not concern himself with attaching a cover letter.

Going viral on YouTube:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Spotted on TikTok:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Live now on Threads:

Whenever I lose my faith in justice, I look at the high school beauties from back then today. Then I’m fine again.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Activity Log ✨

24 Funny appointment quotes

More funny appointment quotes 👇

All funny appointment quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

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