Commentary:
Probably around the same time I stop eating cereal for dinner 🍜🏠🔍
177 Funny around quotes
Dating a smart man, so I actually can turn my brain off when he is around.
Commentary:
When he's around, my brain's on vacation mode! 🏖️🧠😜
I get so flattered when butterflies or bees buzz around me. Like, sorry ladies, I’m not a flower, but it’s so sweet that you thought I was. Hehe.
Commentary:
"Feeling buzzingly beautiful today, thanks to my new pollinator fan club! 🌼🦋🐝🤣"
A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.
Commentary:
Boy, time flies when you're having fun! Can't believe I missed my 229th birthday bash. 🎉🧓🗼
They monitor me harder than Britney Spears around here.
Commentary:
Sounds like you need a pop star's permission to get a coffee break 😂☕👀
What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?
Commentary:
Trying to bribe my brain with ice cream and cat videos 😹🍦📺
When animals lead you to a place, it’s so cute… like, yes, I’m still following. Thank you for constantly turning around to make sure.
Commentary:
Following a squirrel tour guide like it's leading a wildlife vacation: "Next on our tour, the majestic trash can!" 😂🐿️🗺️
My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.
Commentary:
Planning for an epic world trip… around the block! ✈️🌍 Back by dinner! 🍕😄
Parenting a teenager is surreal because you’ll be sitting there, and some dude who is much taller than you will walk around the corner and ask you how to open a popcorn bag.
Commentary:
Who knew "popcorn bag opening" would be the final boss level in parenting? 😂🍿🔓
I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.
Commentary:
When my inner voice decides to pick a fight, I end up giving the silent treatment to the air. 😤🗣️💭