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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

If you collect the crumbs from one Nature Valley granola bar, you can make three more granola bars.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

The length of a LinkedIn Post is directly proportional to the amount of bullshit in it.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

One year of friendship, and I’ve not seen your breasts? Are we really friends?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,652

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Spreading quickly via X:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

Spotted on X:

Keep posting, I’m diagnosing you.

Just shared via Messenger:

One of the best examples of someone posing a question that they already know the answer to is the WeightWatchers website asking me if I accept cookies.

Making waves on X:

I’m attracted to people that no one pays attention to.

Breaking via Telegram:

I’m at the age where I understand that paying a little extra for convenience and comfort is absolutely okay.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

And to my children I leave my collection of tote bags and gift bags.

Freshly posted on Threads:

His hands wouldn’t stop talking to me, your honor.

19 Funny bad day quotes

Funny bad day quotes are the perfect remedy when life feels like a never-ending comedy of errors 😂🌧️. They turn those facepalm moments into laugh-out-loud stories, reminding us that everyone has off days (and that’s totally okay!) 😅✌️. Whether you spilled your coffee or missed the bus, these witty lines add a sprinkle of humor to even the gloomiest days ☕🚌✨. Ready to brighten your mood? Let’s dive in!

New funny bad day quotes 👇

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All funny bad day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on WeChat this month:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

97 shares on Messenger this month:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

44 shares on Instagram this month:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

28 shares on Telegram this month:

Not to brag, but I ate all of my bananas before they turned brown. Don’t be jealous.

94 shares on Discord this month:

Crossing my fingers one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

84 shares on Discord this month:

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

Not now, honey. I’m talking to strangers on the internet.

92 shares on Messenger this month:

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s be honest. The best moment of the day is when we take off our bra.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If I could do it all over again, I would ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever been in the car with someone who drives so fast that you press your imaginary brakes on the passenger side?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The closest I have ever come to bungee jumping was when I was born.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I always thought orthopaedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,633

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I used an air fryer for the first time tonight, and I feel like I just discovered fire.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

The final act of love is not texting them happy birthday.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

The book characters may be fictional, but my emotional instability over them is real.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

I eat my first meal of the day in the afternoon, bro. Don’t ask me for advice.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

That odd feeling when your lunch break is over and you still have to work for another 30 years.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Making waves on YouTube:

Why is everyone looking for intelligent life in space? Can we please start on Earth first?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

Just shared via Threads:

Helpful police officer reminded me he’s the one asking the questions.

Going viral on YouTube:

Who needs a period calendar when I know I’ll have it when I’m crying over nonsense things.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Cleaning your glasses is like changing from 360p to 1080p.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

Just shared via Reddit:

Hey (with the intention of getting ice cream).

Broadcasted on Facebook:

I hate everyone in front of me at this checkout line, everyone behind me is cool.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I love when I come home, I put on my Adam Sandler clothes.

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