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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

You’re telling me this moron’s on oxy.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Somebody just told me I was living the dream, I can assure you I have never dreamt of this shit right here.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Fruit and vegetables expire faster when you’re the one paying for them.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Spending money is too easy. For my bank account’s sake, I need a bridge troll to ask me three riddles before I’m allowed to buy something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,390

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

Breaking via Instagram:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Trending via Facebook:

My swear jar is having a very profitable week.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Could you even imagine the crime rate if no one drank coffee or ate bacon.

Just landed via Facebook:

“I’ve been fantasizing about going back to bed since I woke up this morning.”

Seen just now on Telegram:

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

Going viral on Reddit:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Going bananas on Telegram:

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Adulting is only fun when you have the funds.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I wonder if BBQ thinks about me too.

26 Funny beach quotes

Funny beach quotes bring a splash of humor to your seaside escapades! 🏖️😂 Whether you’re lounging in the sun, dodging seagulls, or marveling at the ocean, these quotes capture the whimsical side of beach life. Dive into some light-hearted fun and let these quotes add a touch of laughter to your sandy adventures! 😎🌊

New funny beach quotes 👇

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

4 weeks ago

beach, dating, feet, foot, going, guy, humor, insane, preference
Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

4 weeks ago

baby, beach, bucket, bucket hat, cuteness, hat, name, something, summer
Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

4 weeks ago

activity, annoyance, beach, couples, even, fun, fun activity, growl, humor, i, pass, playful, sarcastic, solitude, stare, staring, walk
If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

4 weeks ago

activity, baby, beach, beach activity, beautiful, boyfriend, compliment, digging, good, hole, humor, i, ID, job, playful, relationship, sarcastic, watch
Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

4 weeks ago

1, activity, beach, enjoying, enjoyment, fun, fun activity, getting, going, humor, preparation, ready
Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

4 weeks ago

activity, beach, day, family, family activity, going, humorous, humorous situation, Jaws, kid, kids, movie, movie night, night, sick, sick day, situation, watching
Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

4 weeks ago

activity, Adderall, beach, before, focus, fun, fun activity, going, good, good time, having, humor, i, lay, party, productivity, relaxation, taking, time
I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

1 month ago

beach, feed, grudge, hold, humor, i, irony, just, love, pet, relationship, sarcasm, take, walks
Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

1 month ago

aging, beach, falling, film, humor, irony, love, movie, old, only, romance
I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

1 month ago

activity, area, beach, coastal, coastal area, envy, fun, fun activity, jealousy, just, lifestyle, live, mean, people, random, random Tuesday, Tuesday

For even more funny beach quotes, hit next 👇

All funny beach quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Discord this month:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

79 shares on Messenger this month:

Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

10 shares on Discord this month:

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Okay, fall, I see you showing a lil’ leg.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

57 shares on Threads this month:

Online dating is stupid because scent is such an important factor of attraction.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Worst part of being in my 20’s is to be reminded that I’m actually in my mid-40’s.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Why can’t you just be happy for me and then go home and talk behind my back later like a normal person?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when I have dreams about work. I’m not getting paid to interact with these people on my time off!

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,690

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

The light at the end of the tunnel is only the headlight of the oncoming train.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Everyone’s a gangster until the grocery store switches their aisles around.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

A dating app for people who self sabotage called Hinder.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Do you ever restart the dryer because you don’t feel like folding the clothes yet?

Making waves on Pinterest:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Spotted on Threads:

Only here for the honeymoon phase, don’t show me your true colors.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I don’t have read receipts on my phone because why would I tell on myself like that?

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

As funny as it sounds, the easiest way to get women is by having a girlfriend.

Going bananas on Slack:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

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