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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Thinking about taking some time off to focus on cheese.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

“That’s an interesting take,” I say, not listening.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Once you realize I’m an idiot, my posts start to make a lot more sense.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

We need a word for that weird feeling you get when you learn what a podcaster looks like.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Like many men my age, my biggest regret is hiring the inexpensive hitman.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,859

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

At Christmas time, all outstanding invoices are always transferred with the reference “Hohoho”.

Making waves on Slack:

Everything is about sex except Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving is about power.

Going viral on Threads:

Putting mental health before my education is a good idea until it affects my education, which affects my mental health, which affects my education.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Going viral on X:

No, I won’t be attending your seance, I barely want to talk to the living.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sorry for my bad behavior. Mercury is in gatorade or whatever.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Going viral on Slack:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Gender is a just a scam made by big bathroom companies to sell more bathrooms.

Trending via Snapchat:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

26 Funny beach quotes

Funny beach quotes bring a splash of humor to your seaside escapades! 🏖️😂 Whether you’re lounging in the sun, dodging seagulls, or marveling at the ocean, these quotes capture the whimsical side of beach life. Dive into some light-hearted fun and let these quotes add a touch of laughter to your sandy adventures! 😎🌊

New funny beach quotes 👇

Going to the beach as a feet guy must be insane.

0

2 months ago

beach, dating, feet, foot, going, guy, humor, insane, preference
Name something cuter than a baby in a bucket hat on the beach.

0

2 months ago

baby, beach, bucket, bucket hat, cuteness, hat, name, something, summer
Gonna go walk the beach and stare annoyingly at couples. May even growl as I pass by.

0

2 months ago

activity, annoyance, beach, couples, even, fun, fun activity, growl, humor, i, pass, playful, sarcastic, solitude, stare, staring, walk
If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

0

2 months ago

activity, baby, beach, beach activity, beautiful, boyfriend, compliment, digging, good, hole, humor, i, ID, job, playful, relationship, sarcastic, watch
Going to the beach is 99% getting ready for the beach and 1% enjoying the beach.

0

2 months ago

1, activity, beach, enjoying, enjoyment, fun, fun activity, getting, going, humor, preparation, ready
Watching Jaws with my kid because I’m sick of going to the beach.

0

2 months ago

activity, beach, day, family, family activity, going, humorous, humorous situation, Jaws, kid, kids, movie, movie night, night, sick, sick day, situation, watching
Taking Adderall before going to lay on the beach so I can focus more on having a good time.

0

2 months ago

activity, Adderall, beach, before, focus, fun, fun activity, going, good, good time, having, humor, i, lay, party, productivity, relaxation, taking, time
I don’t just hold a grudge; I love it, pet it, feed it and take it for long walks on the beach.

0

2 months ago

beach, feed, grudge, hold, humor, i, irony, just, love, pet, relationship, sarcasm, take, walks
Hundreds, nay, thousands of movies about falling in love but only one movie about a beach that makes you old.

0

2 months ago

aging, beach, falling, film, humor, irony, love, movie, old, only, romance
I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

0

2 months ago

activity, area, beach, coastal, coastal area, envy, fun, fun activity, jealousy, just, lifestyle, live, mean, people, random, random Tuesday, Tuesday

For even more funny beach quotes, hit next 👇

All funny beach quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

86 shares on Messenger this month:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

58 shares on X this month:

No email needs to tell me not to reply.

26 shares on Messenger this month:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

63 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

79 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My CV is so good, companies are still reading it for 9 months.

75 shares on Twitch this month:

Warning: People who need to leave their homes today are advised that it is extremely Monday outside this morning.

51 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’ve had so much tea trying to get rid of this cold that I’m now speaking with a British accent and am fascinated with the Royal family.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The great thing about having a mouse in your house is that I’m sure it’s just the one mouse, probably.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but that much caffeine can’t be good for you.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

You only realize how heavy your handbag really is when your car tells you that your passenger is not wearing a seatbelt.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlike men, women would immediately admit their mistakes if they had any.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,656

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I think the Monday after Sunday should always be a day off.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has shared:

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

Micro-dosing time travel by going to bed.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

It infuriates me that computer Scrabble doesn’t get mad when I win even though I’m livid when it wins.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Bison may look friend-shaped, but they already have all the friends they want. Keep your distance and don’t make it awkward.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

The only way I’m gonna hit the gym is if I accidentally drive into it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Willem Dafoe gets to be in two different Nosferatu movies, whereas the average person doesn’t even get to be in one.

Breaking via TikTok:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

Spotted on Slack:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Trending via Messenger:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

There’s a rhyming Italian expression for saying “take it or leave it” that goes “o mangi questa minestra o salti dalla finestra”. It means “either eat this soup or throw yourself out the window”.

Going viral on WeChat:

It’s so important to warm up before any physical activity, like getting out of bed.

Live now on Telegram:

Youngest siblings are literally weaponized incompetence, final boss.

Seen just now on Facebook:

One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched a surgery.

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Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴