Funny blue quotes

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

  Commentary:
  "Red, blue, and way too true! 🍷😅 Cheers to testing the limits of 'it's 5 o'clock somewhere!' 🕒🍻"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

  Commentary:
  "Sharing is caring, right? 🎸😂🤘 #RockOnNeighbors"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: We were having tea with my mother-in-law the other day and out of the blue she said, “I’ve decided I want to be cremated.” I said, “Alright, get your coat.”

  Commentary:
  Well, talk about starting a conversation with a bang 🔥💥! It seems like this mother-in-law's decision caught everyone off guard – talk about dropping a hot tea bombshell! 😂 Let's just hope the temperature isn't cranked up too high for this family get-together! 🫖🧥 #TeaTimeTales

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Accidentally wore a blue shirt to Walmart and now I’m in the stockroom showing Sue how to use the forklift.

  Commentary:
  "Oh Sue, if only my fashion faux pas came with a user manual… 🤦‍♂️👚💼 #FashionistaDriver #NotSoForkful"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Attention: will the owner of a small blue planet with tectonic plates please attend to your vehicle. It is overheating.

  Commentary:
  🌏🚗 Oh dear, it seems like Mother Earth is feeling a bit overheated from all that tectonic plate activity! Maybe it's time for a planetary pit stop and some cool-down time in the cosmic garage. Attention, dear planet owner – your ride needs some TLC! 😉 #EarthMaintenance #CosmicCarTroubles

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

  Commentary:
  "Just another day in the life of a backyard illusionist. 🏊‍♂️ Who needs a fancy pool when you can have a 'Google Maps special'? 😂 #BackyardGoals"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the classic ode to misophonia! 🌹💙 Sounds like someone needs to chew a bit quieter or invest in some noise-cancelling headphones! 🎧😅 Just remember, it's all fun and games until the sound of your chewing becomes a poetic inspiration!

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

  Commentary:
  "I keep the blue tick on WhatsApp as my own little passive-aggressive statement 🕰️ I want people to know that my lack of response was intentional, and also that the ball is in their court 🏀😄 #ReadAndIgnored"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

  Commentary:
  "Oh, the power of the gaze! 👀 A classic case of 'Foot-In-Mouth' syndrome, but with a twist! 👣 Who knew eyes could be so expressive, enough to elicit a toe-tally awkward encounter! 😂 Lesson learned: watch where you step, or rather, where you stare! 👀👣"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers.

  Commentary:
  👮‍♂️👟 "I think that police officers on foot should wear blue flashing sneakers…because catching criminals is a marathon, not a sprint! 🚨👟💨" #FashionPolice #SolePatrol

For even more funny blue quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny blue quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌