Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

I need carpenters to remember that beds are also for sex. The aesthetics are great and all, but what is with all the squeaking?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

“You’re so quiet.” Thanks, I’m not comfortable around you.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Why do boys never buy the Pro Max iPhones? I swear it’s only girls with big phones.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I signed up to the gym a few months ago and still don’t see any results. I’ll go by there this weekend and ask what’s going on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,393

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I told ChatGPT about us.

Making waves on Instagram:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Just landed via TikTok:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

Live now on Messenger:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Just landed via YouTube:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Spreading quickly via Discord:

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

We can’t both age regress at the same time — someone’s gonna have to push me on the swingset.

Freshly posted on X:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Stop giving kids Bible names but no Bible lessons. Moses tried to rob me last night.

13 Funny closer quotes

Funny closer quotes are the perfect way to end any message or speech with a laugh 😄🎉 Whether you want to leave a memorable impression or simply lighten the mood, these witty and clever lines have got you covered 🤪💬 Ready to sign off with style and a smile? Let’s dive into some hilarious gems that will make your goodbyes unforgettable! 🚀😂

New funny closer quotes 👇

Keep your friends close, but your smartphone closer.

0

2 months ago

close, closer, connectivity, digital, friends, friendship, humor, keep, life, media, modern, modern life, smartphone, social, social media, technology
The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

0

2 months ago

closer, environment, humor, idiots, nature, outdoors, sarcasm, wilderness
Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

0

2 months ago

being, Chainsmokers, closer, college, dropped, experience, least, music, nostalgia, party, say, youth
The only career advice I have is make every decision that moves you closer to not having to be on LinkedIn.

0

2 months ago

advice, career, career advice, choices, closer, decision, every, having, humor, i, job, life, life choices, LinkedIn, motivation, moves, only, professional, professional life, work
It’s crazy that we’re closer to the year 3000 then I am to finding love.

0

2 months ago

am, closer, crazy, date, finding, future, humor, i, irony, loneliness, love, relationship, time, year
When you have finished reading this funny quote, you will be a little closer to death than before.

0

2 months ago

awareness, before, closer, death, existential, finished, humor, irony, little, reading
One year closer to whatever age my obituary will say.

0

2 months ago

age, birthday, closer, humor, life, mortality, obituary, reflection, say, time, whatever, year
I think I’m closer to retirement than to a relationship.

0

2 months ago

age, closer, commitment, dating, humor, i, life, life stage, relationship, retirement, single, stage, think
Quit keeping your enemies closer. No wonder you feel like shit.

0

2 months ago

advice, closer, enemy, feel, humor, negativity, quit, relationship, shit, wonder
You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

0

4 months ago

billionaire, closer, commentary, ever, humor, proximity, social, social commentary, street

For even more funny closer quotes, hit next 👇

All funny closer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Reddit this month:

Miso soup is such a silly name, like “Yes, you so soup.”

71 shares on Discord this month:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

I love being an adult and sitting absolutely still and suddenly I’ve hurt my neck somehow.

45 shares on Pinterest this month:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

16 shares on Twitch this month:

Driving between speed cameras is called intermittent fasting.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I grew up in a kinder, gentler age. We pitied our fools.

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

How do I tell the mosquitoes that I don’t consent?

58 shares on Instagram this month:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

Doomscrolling: because who doesn’t love anxiety as a hobby?

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I love tennis but never really been clear why they need a lifeguard.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Few things in life are as disappointing as having to poop right after a shower.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

All I do is go to work, come home, blink and suddenly I’m back at work.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t normally like to brag about expensive trips but I just got back from the grocery store.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My style isn’t even my real style yet. Just wait till my budget matches my vision.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Went to the toilet today without my cell phone. There are 245 tiles.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,724

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

You look like something I drew with my left hand.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

My five-year plan is to get back my whimsy, joy, childlike wonder.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

“I asked ChatGPT.” “I asked Grok.” Yeah, well, I just analyzed it from a Marxist perspective, and it was pretty obvious.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

I really don’t believe all of these women are actually named “Sassy”

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

If you want your kid to play with their toy just give it to your other kid. Follow me for more parenting hacks.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Oh, you drink black coffee? Tell your ulcer I said good morning.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Y’all can keep the nonchalant ones — I want mine weak in the knees about me.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

Spotted on WeChat:

I’m instantly 70% nicer after 3 p.m. on Fridays.

Breaking via Threads:

A Twitter swear jar could end world hunger.

Trending via WeChat:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Going viral on YouTube:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Just shared via Facebook:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Look, the problem with The Life of a Showgirl is that, for maybe the first time in her music career, Taylor Swift has nothing to say.

Going viral on Messenger:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴