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Someone from has copied:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Someone from has copied:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from has copied:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

Someone from has bookmarked:

I hope you can hear me thinking about you.

Someone from has viewed:

The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from has downloaded:

I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 a.m. and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.

Someone from has downloaded:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Someone from has downloaded:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Someone from has shared:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Someone from has viewed:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1224 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,386

Funny Quotes Topics

14,313

Funny Quotes Images

11,386

Updated

5 minutes ago

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Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Discord:

It’s not too early to go to sleep. Too early only applies to waking up.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I never wanted to become one of those adults who just find the music of the younger generation annoying. Nobody could have guessed that the music was just annoying.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You miss 100% of the gossip from the phone calls you don’t answer.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If I ever go missing, promise me that you won’t put my weight on the poster.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Just landed via Telegram:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Making waves on Twitch:

I dropped and broke my phone today. Hurt more than childbirth!

Home » Funny Confession Quotes

14 Funny confession quotes

Funny confession quotes bring out the cheeky side of honesty 😜, turning awkward truths into laughs 🤣. Whether you’re revealing silly secrets or hilarious slip-ups, these witty lines add a splash of humor to every admission 😂. Ready to confess without the guilt? Dive into the world of playful honesty and get ready to giggle uncontrollably 🤭!

New funny confession quotes 👇

4 weeks ago
Share →: Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Commentary:
"Why open up when you can keep the mystery alive? 🎭🚔 #StaySilent"
1 month ago
Share →: Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Commentary:
"Rainy days are just nature's way of setting the stage for our Oscar-worthy romance scenes! ☔️🎭❤️"
1 month ago
Share →: Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Commentary:
"Oh, so that’s your secret 'get out of jury duty free' card! 🃏🤣 Just make sure your alibi doesn't have WiFi! 📡🚫"
1 month ago
Share →: People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Commentary:
"Admitting mistakes is for amateurs! I'm only professionally flawless 😜🦄✨ #PerfectlyImperfect"
3 months ago
Share →: Your honor, I was in my villain era at the time of those incidents.

Commentary:
Ah, so it appears that the infamous "villain era" defense is making a comeback in today's courtroom drama! 🦹‍♂️🕵️‍♀️ We can only wonder what mischievous deeds were carried out during this questionable phase. Your honor, could it be that the defendant's cape and twirling mustache were mere fashion statements of the times? 🎩👀 #VillainEraChronicles
4 months ago
Share →: I deserve an Oscar for telling my dentist I don’t eat candy.

Commentary:
🏆 And the award for Best Performance in Dental Deception goes to… *drumroll* YOU! 🎬🍭 Just imagine the acceptance speech: "I would like to thank my sweet tooth for always being there, even when I had to pretend it didn't exist in the dentist's chair." 😂 #OscarWorthyPerformance #NoCandyConfessions
4 months ago
Share →: Those who run away from me are afraid that they might confess their love to me.

Commentary:
"Seems like I have the superpower of invoking love confessions! 💖💨 Beware, my charming presence can be quite intimidating. 😏 #LoveConfessionMagnet"
4 months ago
Share →: It was me, I let the dogs out.

Commentary:
Well, well, well, looks like we finally found out who was responsible for letting the dogs out! It wasn't the cats, the birds, or even the squirrels – it was you all along! Let's hope they don't hold a grudge for getting busted. Just remember, in the future, keep a closer leash on things before your furry friends start causing a canine commotion! 🐶🚪🔓
6 months ago
Share →: I want my name to come up when you go to confession.

Commentary:
"Making sure even the priest remembers you in prayer 🙏😇! Because a little fame never hurt, right? 😂 #confessiongoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Commentary:
"No apologies needed! Alcohol just helped me unleash my inner Shakespearean poet 🍷✨ Can't guarantee the accuracy, but the passion was real! 😂 #DrunkPoetSociety"