509 funny dating quotes - Page 4 - Wordgag

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

May 28, 2026

Since I stopped texting first, I haven’t heard from a lot of people in a while.

May 28, 2026

Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

May 28, 2026

Nudes are played out. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

May 28, 2026

Guys will say, “I know a spot,” and then take you on a downward spiral.

May 28, 2026

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

May 28, 2026

Currently accepting DMs from any man with a sturdy bunker on his property.

May 28, 2026

They should invent crushes that like you back.

May 28, 2026

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

May 28, 2026

If I’m too much, go find less. I’m not running a clearance sale.

May 28, 2026

Guys with grey in their beards will do that thing you like.

May 28, 2026

I think my type is a nice person.

May 28, 2026

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

May 28, 2026

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

May 28, 2026

You can just comment, “You two look nice,” on a photo of three people. It’s free and legal.

May 28, 2026

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

May 28, 2026

If you don’t have dating allegations with your best friend, you are not bestfriending hard enough.

May 27, 2026

I just want to find someone that gets annoyed by the same things as I do.

May 27, 2026

If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

May 27, 2026

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

May 27, 2026

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

May 27, 2026

“You look happy.” Thanks, I stopped dating.

May 27, 2026

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

May 27, 2026

The sluttiest thing a man can do is have an ethical dilemma over his lust for you.

May 27, 2026

That “so we done?” be saving the relationship every time.

May 27, 2026

Girls be like, “I know a spot,” then sacrifice you under the full moon.

May 27, 2026

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

May 27, 2026

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

May 27, 2026

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

May 27, 2026

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

May 27, 2026

Adding “Free HBO” to your dating profile isn’t the game changer you’d think it’d be.

May 27, 2026

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

May 27, 2026

What base is it when you’re flirting with a woman, and she asks, “Are you all right”?

May 27, 2026

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

May 27, 2026

I hope one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse is single.

May 27, 2026

Dating me is super easy. I text you at 8; you reply at 8:00:01.

May 27, 2026

I’ve been blocked, unfollowed, and unfriended, but I’ve never been told I’m bad in bed.

May 27, 2026

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

May 27, 2026

You don’t know about stupidity until your female friends open up about their love life.

May 27, 2026

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

May 27, 2026