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Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

The most important thing I learned in life, and I can’t stress enough, it doesn’t matter where you went to college. The only thing that matters is that you’re really hot.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

If you’re worried that you added too much cheese to the recipe, I am here to reassure you that you did not.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

My childhood led me to believe that as an adult I’d have to contend with truth serum, lava, quicksand, trap doors, and secret passageways. So far it’s mostly been weight gain and existential dread.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I’m nervous that my diet pill will stick in my throat, so I usually eat a few cookies after to help push it down.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Everyone’s gangsta until grandma grabs that wooden spoon.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

501 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,094

Funny Quotes Topics

17,246

Funny Quotes Images

15,094

Updated

Dec 22, 2025

Users Online

3,999

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Seen just now on Slack:

I just tried on my summer wardrobe. The only thing I managed to get into was a state of panic.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Spotted on Threads:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Shared recently on Threads:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Just landed via Slack:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Going viral on Pinterest:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m the friend who shows up with a shovel and an alibi.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

Just shared via WeChat:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Home » Funny Failure Quotes » Page 2

38 Funny failure quotes

More funny failure quotes 👇

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

0

1 month ago

disaster, failure, humor, i, irony, met, never, problem, turn
Tried to be a responsible adult today. Won’t be doing that again.

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1 month ago

adult, adulting, again, doing, failure, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, relatable, responsibility, responsible, today, tried
No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

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1 month ago

defibrillator, expectation, failure, humor, irony, joke, medical, medical joke, shock, work
Trying is the first step toward failure.

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1 month ago

failure, first step, humor, irony, motivation, self-deprecation, step, trying
Failed relationships can be described as so much wasted make-up.

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1 month ago

beauty, dating, failure, humor, love, make-up, makeup, relationship, waste
My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

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1 month ago

appearance, camera, failure, humor, me, project, science, selfie
My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

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1 month ago

advice, coach, failure, humor, i, life, life coach, me, motivation, self-improvement, sports, team, told
For someone who is afraid of failure, I’m very unmotivated.

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2 months ago

afraid, failure, fear, humor, irony, motivation, self-deprecation, someone, unmotivated
“You win some. You lose some.” Me, after losing for the millionth time in a row.

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2 months ago

after, attitude, competition, failure, game, humor, lose, losing, me, perseverance, row, time, win
It’s really hard to come back after a poorly executed high five.

0

2 months ago

after, awkward, awkward moment, back, comeback, failure, five, funny situation, hard, high, high five, humor, interaction, moment, poorly, situation, social, social interaction

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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on X this month:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

33 shares on YouTube this month:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

30 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The problem is that you are in the dating pool when the other fish are in the ocean.

13 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

Asked a German woman why Germany produced so many legendary physicists / mathematicians, and her response was basically, “Have you considered educating people who aren’t rich?”

72 shares on Snapchat this month:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

14 shares on Snapchat this month:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

93 shares on Discord this month:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

94 shares on Telegram this month:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

20 shares on Threads this month:

To all the people with grammatical issues, don’t worry, I also have problems with badly timed periods.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

I need someone to look at me the way I look at memes.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

It’s so cold outside I saw a gangster pull his pants up and walk stiffly.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

The more attention you get on this website, the less you enjoy being on it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Love how you can hear the crowd constantly forgetting the queen died and singing “God save the Quing”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Nobody could stop me if I wasn’t tired all the time.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’ve never seen anything sadder than me in a black cape under the salon lights with wet hair parted incorrectly by a solid inch.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I autograph every hotel Bible I find with “Best wishes, JC”.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m at the age where I’m more likely to fall asleep at the movie theater than get frisky in one.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The worst part about waking up is all the remembering.

Just landed via Facebook:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Making waves on X:

“I’m not concerned about Netflix buying Warner Brothers. None of this will matter once we evolve gills and start living underwater.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

Before I work on myself, does anyone like me unhinged?

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m at the age where I won’t make eye contact with someone because they look like a “talker.”

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Why does the phone ring longer when you’re ignoring the call?

Going bananas on Facebook:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Activity Log ✨

38 Funny failure quotes

More funny failure quotes 👇

All funny failure quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨